Hi - I too have suffered from PTSD most of my life but have only been officially diagnosed for 3 years. I never knew that not everone experiences severe trauma - just thought it was part of every day life. I know now but I have little time to get help. Maybe someone can offer me some advice.

5 years ago lost my company to an embezzling cocaine addict who was my cfo - large lawsuit (We are not talking Enron Here, just a privately held company) Panic became the ruler and I was held in contempt of court after asking for a continuance to get a new lawyer and jailed at a county facility for 30 days - for most that would have been no big deal - had none of my meds for 5 days (apparently it takes time to get them arranged) when I did get them - they were not mine - I was in the zone for 2 days - I could walk and follow orders but had no idea where I was or why I was there. Because of overcrowding - slept on the floor in a hallway. Day 2 of the zone I was attacked by two inmates, raped with a hairbrush and sodomised with a mop handle - day 3 it was in the shower - i reported it and they explained that the facility was not to be a vacation - I am a heterosexual female who has been married for 25 years - I have two grown sons I have been getting lots of therapy and many drugs but the battle never ends. Now it seems that I will do more serious jail time for not having discovered the theft and acted appropriately - I will die there is this happens again - I used to be a very strong and respected woman - now I never leave the home we rented in the country (as we lost our home) I have to believe there is hope but I fear that my only option is to draw further into myself for my own protection. I know not many people may have had such experiences, but I hope I can get some ideas from you all as to how to hold on

notime,

Welcome to the forum.....There is hope here. This is a great place to share, learn and heal.

notime,
So sorry what you went through. Something like that can sure take your dignity away from you. Hope you find help w/ this forum
sunnydaze

notime,

I want to give you words that will passify how you are feeling. Your experiences are subjective to you and I would not try to attempt to know how you feel. However, I do understand some of the aspects of PTSD that you have/may of experienced, as many others on here will.

Your life is not over! And I am sure that being on here will help you to see that!

Love and support being sent out to you!

Spirit x

Welcome to the forum notime. I hope you don't have to go back to jail. I know how scary jail is. In the mean time you will find help and support here. That is what we do.

Good luck and take care, Morgan

Thank you guys for acknowledging me..i know there is little to say, but keep the hope...that Is what I am struggling with...my lawyer says we will argue my mental health status for a reduction, but I am scared to do that because I see those things as private and I don't want it to be public information..what to do?

Hi notime, I understand the privacy of mental health issues. It's embarrassing when people give you "that look"

You might want to sit down and weight out the pros and cons of "reduced sentence" = "mental health revealed" vs. "lengthy jail time" = "further trauma".

More trauma and stress will only add to the length of the healing process. It's your call but in time most people will forget about your mental health issue, as you may not forget about your time spent in jail.

Peace
Tammy

I totally agree with 'Seekingnirvana's' perspective and advice.

Excellent!

Spirit x

That is the same thing my family says... they just want to see me be able to continue with my therapy...maybe I am not a famous as my imagination leads me to believe. I am jut trying to breathe right now