Yesterday I posted a response to Breathing and Grounding. In it I said that sometimes I go look in the mirror to help ground myself. I stated that I looked into my eyes.

That is so not true. Why would I say that? I only look into the mirror to see "IF" my hair needs to be combed. I don't look at or even see my face.

I made this discovery a long time ago. I literally do not see my face when I look in the mirror All I see is my hair!

I was surprised to see I had posted that thread and had to check to see what I had said. I am extremely confused as to why I would write that when it is so untrue.

I could have simply ignored this fact and no one would have ever known. But I do not want my writings to ever be doubted, and this concerns me. I wrote something that is the exact opposite of what I feel.

I know that my mind is in the midst of a big turmoil and a lot memories are pouring out of me rather quickly, so maybe that statement is part of all this. Don't know, but I am confused to say the least.

While I don't know why you said that, I do appreciate your honesty. It is refreshing to see such honesty (esp on line). you're right you could've let it slide but, you didn't. There's something to be said for that.

I can relate too, to the not looking in the mirror part of what you said. I try to avoid mirrors at any cost! Just to brush my hair like you. I guess I just wanted you to know that.

My dad says that this forum is only sort of interacting. But I find this site to be surprisingly real. Thank you for your integrity herc. It reinforces my belief in myself that my judgement is not completely impaired.

Try to have a good day, Morgan

Hi Granma Herc,

Can I ask you why you don't look into your eyes? Have you tried to do this? I usually just look in the mirror to fix my hair and put lotion on my face but I have looked into my eyes.

I'm curious as to why you never have done this and if you could do it if you tried?

Thanks
Tammy

Morgan,

Thank you so much for the remarks. They meant a lot to me and I can tell you are sincere in you feelings Ya know, even if your dad is correct, it still helps us, now doesn't it?

Tammy,

My eyes. Yes I've tryed. Even use to wear make up and all that stuff. I can put on my make up, even mascara. I see the lashes but not my eyes. I've been aware of this for a very long time, but never talked about it.

I can look directly "at" my eyes. I see all the parts, but I don't see My Eyes. It is like I look at them, not into them. It is hard to explain. All I know is I don't see them when I look in the mirror. Does any of this make any sense?

Sometimes when we dissosociate we can say and do things as if we are not really there and have little memory of these times ( I am sure you have heard of this :-)) Perhaps, your remark was based on what people would normally do when looking in the mirror? Perhaps you would like to be able to look into your eyes and it was a kind of Freaudian slip?

The main part is that you were trying to help people-that's my take on it anyway!

Spirit x

Cr*p that just triggered something.....

When I look in the mirror I am scared to look into my eyes incase what I see scares me - another bullet point for my list :-)

When I have periods of depersonalization I say my name in my head followed by my D.O.B so that I don't fogret who I am - once I looked in the mirror and it was as though I was not me.

Perhpaps becausse the mirror is a reflection of 'us' and as we are not healed and still have so many hidden memories our reflection is not as it should be-we are afraid to see?

You see your slip has helped me out - funny how these things work out.

Spirit x

I wonder if you were in a dissociative state when you posted... especially since you don't remember posting.

I looked into my eyes when I was very angry a couple of times to see what I could see. I seen a dark pupil and it was hard to focus on it because I could only look into one pupil at a time. But it seems that after looking into my eyes I look at my face to look for any clues.

I'm really not sure that looking into my eyes really did me much good in figuring anything out.

I guess I don't understand why you don't see your eyes. I think this is an interesting subject and wonder why one wouldn't see their eyes.

Maybe the reason you said you looked into your eyes in another post is because in your recent dream you looked into that man's eyes who in fact is a characteristic of you. You said he has beautiful eyes, and I bet you do too.

Tammy