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| | Notices | Welcome to PTSD Forum. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a life threatening, debilitating disorder that can break down a sufferer’s body through anxiety and stress. Further it poses a significant suicide risk resulting from the brains neurological imbalance and chemical depression. Sufferers often live in denial, thus this community is aimed at helping PTSD sufferers help themselves through others experiences, guidance and education. We are here for the sufferer, spouse and families surrounding PTSD. Spouses and family are too often forgotten in this equation, and often they receive all the worst that PTSD has to offer. If you're involved in any way with PTSD, get registered and help yourself now. Non-active members will eventually be deleted. If you are not a sufferer, carer or someone within the mental health industry, and active, then there is little reason for you to be a member of this forum. Non-active members with zero posts are deleted periodically during the year. |  | | 
09-03-2008, 03:47 AM
|  | | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 1,009
| |  Does This Make Me a Selfish Person?
I have been here on the forum for a year now and I have to finally admit that I am unable to read the diaries of the other members.
I orginally tryed, but found it caused me to much anxiety. Now I just don't even bother.
Does this make me a selfish person? I try to read them, but I just can't. |
09-03-2008, 05:02 AM
|  | | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Ma
Posts: 2,373
| |
I guess I would have to ask Why???? What is it that bothers you about reading others diaries??? Is it triggering you??? Are you comparing yourself to others??? What are you feeling when you try???/ |
09-03-2008, 06:44 AM
|  | | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Earth (most of the time)
Posts: 729
| |
I don't read other's diaries. I've looked in a few but found it to upset me. Plus I have a hard time reading long posts. I skip over them because I have ADD. I don't think it makes you selfish?
Tammy |
09-03-2008, 09:32 AM
| | | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: UK
Posts: 684
| |
Look after number one first Herc. Read them if and when you are ready. |
09-03-2008, 01:46 PM
| | | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 1,009
| |
I can see that I am not the only person who finds it difficul to read others diaries. I was just worried that by only dealing with my own "stuff" that it showed me a selfish person.
I am overly concerned about what people will think. I know where this comes from. Mother! To this day that is her mantra, bless her little pointy head. LOL She still occassionally says that when I do some funny and stupid thing in public. I do it just to get her feathers ruffled. Guess I should not pick on "me ole mum".
Sometimes when I try to read a diary I get unconfortable, uneasy, not sure---can't put my finger on the exact feeling. At least I know now that I am not selfish. |
09-03-2008, 02:09 PM
|  | Moderated Member | | Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 281
| |
Not selfish, Herc - protective of yourself and your pain level and you are the only one who can protect you and I am glad you are doing it with the diaries. |
09-03-2008, 02:47 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: USA
Posts: 257
| |
Grama-Herc,
In time you may feel different. Don't worry about it
sunnydaze |
09-03-2008, 10:53 PM
| | | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Ma
Posts: 2,373
| |
Herc,
I know how you feel. Reading other diaries is an uncomfortable feeling. For me, when I read them it reminds me that others are going through hell too. I feel less alone. I also use it (at times) to avoid my own crap. Easier to try and help others than deal with my own shit.
You may be able to delve into others diaries later in your healing, but right now it just isn't for you. Are you selfish???? Yes, IN A GOOD WAY!!!!! You are concentrating on healing yourself. When I was in therapy my T used to remind me all the time that I needed to be a little more selfish and pay more attention to me, and my healing than to others. I still struggle with this.....JMO!!!! |
10-03-2008, 01:10 AM
|  | | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: charles town, wv (usa)
Posts: 1,252
| |
you are not selfish. reading posts keeps you in contact with others--fellowship, if you will. the diaries are more of a "if you want to, when you can" kind of thing. i'm sure we are all uncomfortable when we read something so personal and painful for others, but if it is making you stay upset, then you should wait til you feel like you can. i don't read others diaries, i come and go to the site to balance how much is on my plate. i deal with a lot of "others" problems at school. i pray for the people/problems here often for God knows all, and he can actually do something about it. i have trouble sometimes reading my own diary, and i back off some til i can. it is more important for you to be able to reread your own, as it is a kind of "exposure" therapy in itself. never feel guilty for self-care, it is not an option, but a necessity when you have ptsd. God bless. |
10-03-2008, 02:49 AM
| | | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 1,009
| |
I am now discovering something about myself that I was not really aware of until now.
I have that awful "need to please" syndrome. I don't want anyone angry with me, upset with me or have any type of problem with me. Must be sure everyone is alway happy and liking me.
I see this in others but never realized I had it too. This is like trying to balance wild cats on the head of a pin. Just can't be done. Of course there are those of us who keep trying. DUH!
So this means that when I said I did not care what other people think, I was not being honest, honest with myself.
My My My don't we make interesting discoveries about ourselves in this place? | | Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes |  Linear Mode | 
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