My default state is numbness with a dash of vague unease, a sense that something is wrong and I'm missing it...I need to find out what it is, something is coming and I'm missing it.
I was relieved to read that others go through the time-delay, as well. When I was 21 my dog died a very unpleasant death and it was years later that I found myself crying over the incident and the loss. I have many such incidences like that.
I am sometimes baffled by emotions, and even hate them at times - wishing instead to be like Spock or Data from Star Trek. To me, they too often seem like a complete liability, tripping me up, making me unable to "act right". In fact, years ago, before I knew what was going on with me, I contemplated actually requesting a frontal lobotomy to try & just get rid of them for good and all.
-Dylan |