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| | Notices | Welcome to PTSD Forum. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a life threatening, debilitating disorder that can break down a sufferer’s body through anxiety and stress. Further it poses a significant suicide risk resulting from the brains neurological imbalance and chemical depression. Sufferers often live in denial, thus this community is aimed at helping PTSD sufferers help themselves through others experiences, guidance and education. We are here for the sufferer, spouse and families surrounding PTSD. Spouses and family are too often forgotten in this equation, and often they receive all the worst that PTSD has to offer. If you're involved in any way with PTSD, get registered and help yourself now. Non-active members will eventually be deleted. If you are not a sufferer, carer or someone within the mental health industry, and active, then there is little reason for you to be a member of this forum. Non-active members with zero posts are deleted periodically during the year. |  | | 
17-03-2008, 10:15 PM
|  | Moderator Chat PTSD Forum | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: North Carolina, USA
Posts: 650
| | I've always called my loneliness "living in a bubble". For me, it's almost an out of body experience, or maybe I'm so engulfed in being inside of myself that I manifest this feeling of being out of body because I'm detaching. Part of the reason I dislike going to the store is because I don't even want to speak to the cashier when I'm checking out. I start thinking about things like "what if she starts asking other questions beyond 'how are you" and it freaks me out.
I'm a zoner. I zone out all of the time. Someone could be talking to me and I won't hear a word their saying because I'm trying to ease myself by zoning out which I find extremely peaceful.
It's a strange feeling when I think about it: being here, but not.
Best,
Rachel | 
17-03-2008, 10:56 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 1,016
| | I sometimes wonder if it is not so much alone in the world, as it is "Why am I in the world"?
I've made no major contribution to society. I could leave right now and there would be no mark or trace left behind.
I have impacted nothing and made no improvement.
I have always felt like I had no reason to be here. Why was I put on this earth? I see others invent things, cure diseases, help restore peace. Major impacts on the world around us. And Me?
Does this fit in with being alone? Without a reason for being, then why be? I have always wanted to know why I was born. What is my reason for being here? | 
18-03-2008, 05:01 AM
|  | | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Ma
Posts: 2,388
| | Ok, so this is my take on things.... I choose to be alone. I live alone and like it. Yes, there are times that I get lonely, but for the most part I enjoy being alone. I actually prefer my company to someone else. LOL!!!!!
It wasn't always this way though, and I too felt very alone in the world, different, not like others, very isolated within the world. As I continued to heal myself, get better, get my emotions under control, accept my responsibility for my behavior, lose the anger, and everything else, I became content. This is where I am today. Content!!!! Took some time to get here....
Last edited by She Cat; 18-03-2008 at 05:02 AM.
Reason: sp
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18-03-2008, 05:46 AM
|  | Moderated Member | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: U.K
Posts: 430
| | You give me hope, She Cat!
Thank you!
Spirit x | 
18-03-2008, 12:49 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 1,016
| | She
You have expressed my feelings very well. People don't understand how I can stay in my home for days and days without going out.
Hey, I enjoy my home, my life and my company.
In my other post I guess I got off topic. I wonder mentally sometimes, sorry!
IMHO, there is nothing wrong with the way most of us choose to life. Isolation seems to be a common thread among us. Quite frankly, the world is to dangerous to suit me so why put myself in danger | 
18-03-2008, 01:01 PM
|  | Moderated Member | | Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 159
| | I too am pretty content being alone.
But you do look back at a whole decade of no holidays, no events, no trips with anyone.....that kinda is weird. Wonder if you are really missing out.
Right now its OK though. Much less stressful | 
18-03-2008, 07:22 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Upstate NY, USA
Posts: 374
| | being alone at times of struggle I agree, when I am hurting I push everyone away. It is a solo act to reconstruct our thoughts. Since no one understands this disorder they can't figure out what I may need to weather the storm. The only one who would get it is my Therapist but I always have an attitude to call him for help. Just last week end I had a really bad time and became suicidal again. Did I call - NO. Stupid. I think its because I don't want to be needy or seem weak.
It is at those times I think I need to retrain myself and buck up to take care of me. Next time I will call him whether I want to or not; if I remember at the time. | 
19-03-2008, 10:01 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 1,016
| | "T"
Your statement about all the missed holidays and events and trips really hit home. In fact, a prime example just happened.
The owners of our apartment complex were given 30 tickets to see the musical group Chicago. They offered the tickets free to the first 30 residents to sign up. I would have loved to have gone. HA Grama Herc made a funny.
I eventually ended up with no one at work inviting me to go to their parties or including me in evenings out. I felt left out and friendless. Well Duh! What did I expect. Whenever they did invite me, I never showed up. They just stopped asking.
I felt like nobody liked me. I was alone. This has become a very negative self imposed misery. So, yes. I feel alone in the world because I am. This is not normal. I know it is wrong to use the "normal" word, but let's face it, the type of isolation we place upon ourselfs is not normal. | 
19-03-2008, 11:48 PM
| | Moderated Member | | Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6
| | Hey Sunnydaze,
Every single living person in this entire world should read that "dont judge" thing.
I feel just like many of you. Alone, and scared of being different.
Even thought its sad that so many people feels like this, its still a bit comforting knowing that in fact youre not alone at all.
Take care! | 
21-03-2008, 01:08 AM
|  | Moderated Member | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: U.K
Posts: 430
| | Ha ha!
I was just reading everyone's replies to this and this song came on, on my pc windows media player; Me,myself, I (Joan Armatrading). I came in this world alone, me, myself, I......... 6 days to be alone, me, myself, I, it's not that I love myself I just don't want company, Iv'e just room enough for one, me, myself, I.
The irony of life, eh!
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