I am so sorry you are experiencing this but i so understand although the shoe is on the other foot and it is my mother that gives me grief. I read these types of stories and it kind of bothers me when people have supportive, receptive mothers and just seem like spoiled brats. When my Mom had her car accident..I had just gone on stress leave for the PTSD....I slept sitting up in a chair for 10 days and then had her in my dining room for 10 weeks in a hospital bed......no healing that time off.all the while listening to her tell me how stupid I am. I guess it makes me jealous when I see a mother reaching out and totally getting blown off.....my mother won't even throw me a bone. At what point do you just give up on people?????

Beleive me.....I am living it in crisis and all alone and i have a 12 year old with special needs.....life can be crazy and I hope things settle for you and i both very quickly.

I am alone, mentally, physically, emotionally. There are days that I long for someone just to hold me. There are days that go by and my phone never rings. Holidays come and go with no recognition, no cards, no gifts, no phone calls, no celebration, or dinners. I am slipping further and further, and I can't seem to stop.

She...I am really tired and going to try again for like the millionth time to at least relax.......but I wanted to comment on your post.

What would you say to me or someone else on the forum if they said they were slipping away and having "bad thoughts" feeling as bad as you are right now...I don't think I have ever sensed this type of sadness in your posts. So...please be good to yourself and try to be your own friend. We need to learn to love ourselves enough to care enough to want to stick around.....I have my son right now..yes....BUT...I also have ME...I need to care about ME. You need to be your priority to care about YOU because you are worth it and you matter. You need to find a way to at least slow down this slipping. Just my opinion.

I'll call you if you want to share your number...if you need to hear a voice...I have one.

She cat you have us here. We would miss you. You are reaching out to us. I also have gone weeks without hearing from anyone and days when the loneliness is painful physically. Some days I let my self believe I don't make a difference in this world. BUT, I try to think about the strangers I help - holding doors open for people, saying hi to a child. Maybe I don't understand their world but I'm in it. Sometimes it is the little things we do that can make a difference in someones elses life. I know it is bad right now for you, but believe it or not it could be worse.

Try to make a list of what in your life matters to you right now. (The ink on your table). List the small kindnesses you have given people recently or in the past. What things in your life are you proud of that you did. Do you have any pets? What would they do without you?

Make yourself go out for coffee be around people if you can. Look for small things that make you see the other side of life in others lives and KNOW you can find some of that. The struggle never seems to end I know, but keep searching for the key that will give you a ray of hope. Plant a pot of flowers for the spring. Clean out your car. Go to the library. Rent a happy movie. Try to take a break and get out of yourself for a short period and let it go for just a while if you can. What you do each day does have meaning for us and you.

Remember you did survive and you are a successful woman because you are here and making a difference to me.

I so know how you feel. I feel quite like just taking a step out of the world today from work. Sometimes it is so hard to just deal with the world and for me, today is one of them.

She, thank you so much for sharing your feelings as it has given me the courage to do so a little bit at a time here. Your courage breeds courage in others. You've made a difference for me. You will be in my thoughts and prayers today. Take care....

When I am out I am scared of garages or places that has no escape. I feel so isolated

For two days now I have not felt alone!
I am not alone, alone, alone I have new comapny..........ME!

Spirit x

I have a peculiar need when I am in a restaurant or enclosed area. I can never have my back to the entrance. I need to see what is coming in and my way out. It's a quirk but I honor it so I can focus on enjoying the meal or people I am with. If it doesn't work out I get distracted and have a level of discomfort (anxiety) that makes me lose my thoughts, and I become very forgetful.

Hello Spirit x,

I agree with Heavenly. "Just Say NO" to the media. It is a wastful extravagance which rarely improves our lives - especially when replacing it with something more... wholesome. I was struck once by a voice teacher's clear boundary of light around her that she stoked quite often. She was very protective of this sacred space and lived a long, productive and healthy life. I had always incorporated the media into my day-to-day life but not her. SHE chose what, when & where the information came into her home with a flip of a switch. It is her own words that I remind myself of in times of chaos, "Only through discipline, can emancipation be found". So, Spirit x, be protective of your sensitivities and honor the peace in which they blossom and flourish.

Many blessings,

CS