Are You Artistic? - Page 2

linasmom · #11 16-03-2008, 05:27 AM

Nor,

I think I understand your pain. I was an exceptional ballet dancer as a child and did very well acting in theater and writing stories. My mother made me stop doing all of it. She used to rip up the poems and stories I would write and put them in the trash.

I ended up dropping out of school during the 11th grade and I have no college degree. I'm not blaming my mother for this but I do think that if she would have allowed me to continue to excel in the things that I was good in, I would have stayed in school and probably pursued a career in the arts.

I checked "yes" to the poll. I taught myself to write poetry, I studied via online forums and read a lot. I have published poetry in various lit journals, but to this day I'm still sad about the lost opportunity that I could have had.

nor · #12 16-03-2008, 05:53 AM

"but to this day I'm still sad about the lost opportunity that I could have had"

My oh my, that says so much, so very very much. We grieve.

I give you a lot of credit for not placing blame. You are much further ahead than I. And I don't know if I will ever be able to reach that point.

But, by your getting beyond the placement of responsibility, you have grown into an accomplished writer. Yes, accomplished. To have anything printed in any journal, shows accomplishment. You didn't let your "lost opportunity" remain complete lost. You went out and grabbed some of it back. Whereas, I still find it necessary to hide it.

Feel good about how far you have come--Kudos to you!!!

linasmom · #13 16-03-2008, 07:46 AM

Funny - I don't know if I say that I don't place blame because I know it's the "right" thing to do (to take responsibility for my own actions) or if I say it because I actually believe it.

I should bring this up in therapy next week.

nor · #14 16-03-2008, 08:40 AM

Absolutely bring it up!

That is why I like this site so much.....while "talking" to others, we jar loose some stuff that should be addressed.

morgan · #15 16-03-2008, 10:24 AM

This poll triggers me too. My aunt threw away a box that had everything I had ever written in it. Since then I can't even journal and when I do try it is so difficult to truly express myself. I even have a difficult time expressing myself on this forum because it is in writing form. My diary shows no emotion at all, just the facts. That's the best I can do right now I guess. It sucks really!

nor · #16 17-03-2008, 04:44 AM

Even though my mother didn't actually throw out my oil paintings and drawings, she did toss everything else (especially my crayon box which I used constantly). I took the paintings and drawings with me when I moved into my own house-and stored them away.

Very occasionally, I will take one out and look at it-but that is rare.

I haven't painted a picture in 40 years. I have drawn a few times (literally 3), but I have hidden them away. Too embarrassed to let anyone see them. I have tried to take an art class, but wind up dropping out after the first session. Can't do it.

Actually it FEELS like my mother threw everything out-everything. And that is why I still resent her actions.

I no longer have any feeling of being artistic in any way. I always ask for someone else's direction when doing anything decorative.

She Cat · #17 17-03-2008, 08:22 AM

Nor,

Go and buy a new crayon box.......

nor · #18 17-03-2008, 09:37 AM

Thanks for the giggle, Wendy......lol

She Cat · #19 17-03-2008, 10:49 AM

I was serious...She threw away your creativity, so go get it back. Buy a new box....

nor · #20 17-03-2008, 10:19 PM

Oh! Sorry- you are right. I should try again. Just never really thought it would be a very successful attempt.

Thanks