I don't know what to do or who else to turn to but you carers! I have a close friend who also has PTSD and has recently become homeless. I desperately want to help her but I've already given her over $1000.00 and I want to give her more but my mom, my therapist and my psychiatrist all seem to be against it.

The other day she called me and she told me she needed $50 for a motel room cause she had nowhere to go and for the first time I didn't offer to send it to her. I feel really guilty and responsible for the fact that she may have slept on the streets and may still be. I feel so guilty that if she were to call again I would definitely send her some money.

The problem is I can only help her for a couple of nights and she needs a more permanent solution. I know I can only do so much but, it's killing me not to even do the bare minimum for her. I feel like I'm such a lousy friend right now. I can't get my friend to safety!

Any advice and or support would be greatly appreciated.

Thanx for listening, Morgan

You could help her find a shelter to stay in.

I would help her find a shelter but she is in Nevada and I am in California and the only contact I have with her is when she is able to call me. She doesn't have any money to call so I don't hear from her as often as I would like. If I had my own place, I would go and get her or send her a bus ticket and she could stay with me but I am currently living with my parents myself.

She is a veteran and therefore has some resources at her disposal. I just can't stand to know that she is going through this and I am helpless to do much more than I already have. I'm also afraid that she won't ask me for help again because I didn't offer the last time. I am truly kicking myself for that!

If I had to be homeless somewhere I would be homeless in San Diego, which is probably a bus or train ride away. When I lived in San Diego vagrancy was legal, the weather was nice, and homeless veterans slept on the beach for free without fear of the cops. I would not want to be homeless in Nevada.

List of Nevada Shelters:
http://www.hud.gov/local/nv/homeless/shelters.cfm

Morgan,

Probably your T advised against sending $ because the situation is stressful for you and could lead to more rescuing. It's hard, but you have to take care of you first, or else you'll end up in a mess.

I'm only theorizing here, but surround her with white light in your visions and know that she will be safe. Then point her to shelters and pray. This will release you from guilt.

Morgan, as hard as it is, your friend has to take responsibility for herself.
Being a rescuer, especially financially will not help her, and it certainly will not help you.

I was in your situation once, and it got very messy and sent me over the edge, because my friend was also sick with drug addiction, possibly PTSD of some sort I still don't know as we are no longer friends because she didn't deal with her issues, and I didn't help by covering her where she should have done it herself. She lied to me, stole, use the money she had from welfare to take heroin and ice. Don't feed her issues -- she needs to deal with them herself.

She's a grown up. If my BB who has PTSD managed to get on in life with no family, or close friends then so can your friend. Rescuing adults never solves anything, she needs to take responsibility for herself. Don't feel guilty just because she is your friend.
Just tell her you can help her find a job/shelter and listen to her as a friend, but money, "no can't help you I got myself to look after."

Just wanted to let everyone know that my friend is okay. I did end up sending her some more money (which eased my guilt tremendously) and she was able to stay in a motel until she got into transitional housing. This was an extreme load off of my mind and my heart.

I think I was kinda looking for answers on how to take care of myself better while trying to support her through a difficult time. I worried myself into a frenzy. It's hard to care for another without getting stressed out myself because of my PTSD. I guess I just need to learn to detach more.

The fact is, there are even people on this forum that I worry myself into a frenzy over. Maybe I just care too much. Too much empathy or something... I don't know.

Anyway, just letting you guys know that things ended up working out. Thanx for all the advice.

Take care all, Morgan

Empathy isn't a bad thing...it just means you have a loving soul. I'm glad everything worked out for you and your friend.

I'm so glad to hear about your friend Morgan!

That's great Morgan.