I also, am afraid that what I tell my T will shock him or make him think I am weird or lying.

I once wanted to get into a clinical trial for PTSD and the interview lasted 6 hours! At then end of it, the fella who interviewed me looked at me and with a terrible facial expression, he said, "Wow, you really have a lot of PTSD!" as if I was toxic waste or something. I felt so dirty and I will never get that look he had out of my memory.

I never want to get that reaction from another human being.

This topic and its subsequent replies have triggered me. I came on last night to reply to this thread again and I found myself consumed with anger and anxiety. I don't know why.

I'm angry again as I write this.

I'm perplexed yet fully understand the reasoning behind not telling your T everything. I feel that the reasons behind not telling your T everything are irrational, though. A therapist's job in life is to assess not judge. Have the majority of people posting to this thread actually had a therapist who judged them? OR was a response to your trauma by a therapist perceived as being judgmental by you, the patient? Let's be honest with ourselves here - most of us suffer from distorted thinking and become extremely reactionary when we are triggered (hey, maybe I'm doing it right now??!!).

I'm just curious, how many people here have tried rationalizing this problem within their own head?

Just because your doctor does something that you don't like doesn't mean he is not trustworthy! To expect someone, anyone, to act how you want them to act, when you want them to do so, is completely absurd in my book. Maybe I'm reading all of these replies incorrectly and again, for some reason I have become triggered and it seems that all I can see from these posts are people who want dogs instead of doctors.

I truly and deeply hope that I have not offended anyone and if I have, then I apologize.

Best,
Rachel

a smoke can do wonders. I think I'm able now to use some brevity and articulate what is disturbing me about this thread.

I strongly believe in personal responsibility. The posts in this thread have come across, to me, like people are refusing to take on the personal responsibility that goes hand in hand with going to therapy and healing oneself.

Best,
Rachel

I agree with what you have said! If you read my thread I have tried to outline some of the issues that I believe cause people to feel this way, (not trust in therapy).

I agree too with what others' on here have also said, shame, fear of rejection, trust all hinder our progress. These are just things that take time for us to work through. I don't feel that this equates to people negating persoanl responisibilty in all circumstances, some just take longer to own it!

You are Okay to feel angry, perhaps as you have outlined you are tapping in to your own feelings? We are each on an individual journey and will learn different aspects as we travel along. Embrace your anger and explore it, challenge why you are?!

Just remember we are all complex beings with different perspectives on life as well as PTSD. Personal responsibility is key, to own it, to see it, and to undertsand how to use it for our greater good!


Spirit x

Linasmom:

I agree with what you are saying, also. We do have to take responsibilty, but to get through the process, one needs a therapist they can share all their feelings with comfortably. I am drawn more to some personalities more than others. For me real aggressive therapists feel threatening, but somebody else may really like their style.

If I don't warm up to a therapist after 3 or 4 sessions then I know I might benefit more from a different therapist.

I agree that people need to be responsible for their own therapy and well being. Yes there are a lot of issues that we have dealing with going to a therapist and telling everything. Trust, shame, quilt, fear, rejection, ect, ect. BUT!!!!!! We need to be able to take the plunge and go forward with things.

You can't keep going to therapy week after week, month after month, year after year, and NOT open up. You're not being honest to yourself, and IMO you are wasting the therapist time, and yours.

If a person doesn't open up, then they don't move forward.

I agree 100%, but it is tough to do. We are dealing with a lot of shame, and that is not easy to deal with regardless of whether the person is a T or not. I trust my T and she knows an awful lot more about me than my wife, and I am now wondering if there is anything that I have held back from discussing with my T.

Just rereading some of the posts in this thread it struck me that some of the thoughts in a thread started a few days ago on the subject of transference are of some relevance to this topic as well...don't know how to make link here, but probably searching for transference will work.

Some people can't trust right away because when they were a child they trusted their abuser and that trust was broken. How does one get that trust back along with their innocence? Through hard work and patients with oneself and it doesn't happen over night. This is a long process that has to be taken in baby steps. Go ahead and judge something you may not know one inkling about. If it makes you mad or upsets you then you are judging and most likely stuck in judgment of everyone who doesn't think like you.

I was raised by criminals. They taught me to be a criminal so what do you think about criminals? You can't trust them! If I've known only criminals most of my life and became one, how quickly is it going to be for me to trust when I know even the nicest person with the best intentions won't have a bad day and do something that harms me? There is a possibility of a criminal in all of us but we refuse to see it because we are repressing those thoughts and actions. Don't think for one minute if you were on the streets starving to death you wouldn't steal some food. Have you ever went hungry for two and a half days (nothing but water)? I have, and it isn't a pleasant feeling. Actually it's pretty painful.

Lets be realistic here. You may think you trust your T and open completely up but about 15% of people are 100% honest with their T and I find it hard to believe the majority of this forum with the exception of 2quilt, tude and myself are the only ones that do not trust so easily.

Keep a mental note of this topic and next time your T or some one asks you a question you don't feel comfortable answering, ask yourself why? I bet it happens more often than you think because your not paying attention. Try this on for starters go and tell your T in the next session that you masturbated and you slept with some one you didn't know. Even better, tell them about the time you slapped your child in the face real hard because you lost control. If you can do this then I applaud your trust and openness. Good for you!

Peace
Tammy

Seeking Nirvana, I don't know who you are addressing, but I'll go ahead and answer -

Firstly - I have gone hungry and I have stolen food because of it. I lived on the streets twice, once at 15 for a year, and once at 17 for a year. I don't know who you are addressing when you say "go ahead and judge something you have no inkling about". I'm sorry, but I have PTSD too, from years of sexual, physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my mother - for 15 years.

Of course I judge, and for anyone who says that they don't judge is a liar. We are human beings. However, I will argue that I'm definitely not "stuck" in judgment towards everyone who doesn't think like I do. Do you have any idea how many people that would be?? TONS! I'm atheist living in North Carolina. I don't judge all of the Christians who live here, I accept and respect their right to believe what they choose and in doing so I do not think any less of them.

It's funny that your perception is that only you, Tude and 2quilt are the only ones who do not trust your Therapist, by this thread. My perception of these posts suggests that everyone but me, Herc and SheCat are the only who DO trust our T. Perception is everything, I guess.

Absolutely, without a doubt, do I feel uncomfortable answering questions that "someone" has asked me and I refuse to do so. Because "someone" is Joe Schmo, who does not have a PHD in Psychology and who I am not paying to council me. Furthermore, Joe Schmo and myself do not have a confidentiality agreement.

I'm not sure why telling your therapist that "I masturbated and slept with someone I didn't know" is so out of the ordinary for a therapist to hear. I mean, come on. Masturbation - not that serious! Women and men have been doing it for years. I'm sorry that society has made women to feel as if they are not allowed to do so, but the reality is that women masturbating is not so taboo anymore, and neither is sleeping with somebody that you don't know. I'm not saying it's responsible, I'm simply saying that these examples are not shocking. Do you know what other types of people psychologists see? Pedophiles, perhaps.

It's really important to try and put things into perspective here.