How Do You Cry?

JustJane · #1 22-03-2008, 06:48 AM

* I cry silently
* I cry semi-silently
* Depends on circumstances/location
* I don't cry

I learned to cry silently from too many verbal lashes about "only babies cry" and finding too few people who cared to comfort me. I thought it was just me, until I read someone elses diary. How many others are there? Do tears stream from your eyes in a personal anguish, completely undetected by someone sitting or standing right behind you?

JustJane · #2 22-03-2008, 09:54 AM

I know this didn't come out in poll format. What did I do wrong?

Cindy · #3 22-03-2008, 10:01 AM

This is an interesting question.

I can't cry. Maybe I cry silently - the measure of internal suffering that you wish you could cry to let it out.

Again, do I think it is a weakness to cry? I won't even get into other's reactions to crying. I'm just thinking of being alone and crying; and I still can't even if I want to as a release.

I can count on two hands the times I've cried in the past ten years. It's wierd. My therapist knows if he see's tears in my eyes we are in deep sh##.

Maybe it is the vulnerability of crying and externallizing our pain where others can see it, leaving us open for attack?

Lot's to think about.

Shoshin · #4 22-03-2008, 11:44 AM

As am American man from the Midwest, I have learned to cry by:

going to the woods and sleeping alone in my tent
going to the pub and drinking a few pints
smoking until my throat is raw
working outside in the yard
lifting weights or running
watching violent movies/playing violent video games
staying silent, being tough
punishing myself for wanting to cry

Cindy · #5 22-03-2008, 11:55 AM

The best is when it is raining on the tent, the sound is so calming.
Being tough is so hard sometimes and exhausting. Part of the great facade.

I'm curious - what is in your garden? Flowers or vegetables or both. Perenials or Annuals?

The little house and the garden sound like a nice haven.

sallyb98178 · #6 22-03-2008, 12:14 PM

I cry after my angry outbursts, when I get alone and realize what I have done. Again.

I cried yesterday when I found this forum and read the responses to the poll about whether you think there is a recovery from ptsd.

linasmom · #7 22-03-2008, 12:29 PM

At a young age I learned to cry silently or else I would get abused some more. And then I learned to not cry at all.

This poll made me really depressed.

TLight · #8 22-03-2008, 02:32 PM

I didn't cry at all when at 'home' (if you could call it that).

Then, when I'm hurting, I don't really cry.... I moan and look up in agony to a God I don't understand, I scream in pain, my whole body writhes and twists, I beat my face with my hands.........
But lately, with therapy. I've been crying. Sometimes for days on end. It worries me, but my T says to just tell myself it's the grief and it will pass.

JustJane · #9 22-03-2008, 02:40 PM

linasmom, I'm sorrty, that wasn't my intention.

Shoshin · #10 22-03-2008, 02:40 PM

Cindy,

I love the sound of rain anywhere, but yes on the fly of the tent...that is special! The garden this year will have Mexico Midget tomatoes, Ideal Market pole beans, jalapenos, cayenne peppers, zucchini, gourds, purple tomatillos, ancho peppers, basil, cilantro, lettuce, oregano, spearmint, hyssop, bee balm, and marguerites. We have a small mason bee nesting site, and sunflower seed, thistle and nectar feeders for the birds as well. The garden is a refuge when I want to cry, too. I can get my hands in the dirt and be rough, or I can be gentle with the leaves of a fragile seedling. When other things go to hell, the garden is still there, creating life, food and beauty, oblivious to the things that drag me down.