Spirit,

Love this too :)

I'm such a cry baby - have cried every day for the past 1 1/2 years... most recently the tears have become a less painful experience and a source of great relief (a bit like dreams).

dust

I am so gald that what I feel is so relevant to others'.

Thank you all so much for your responses :-)

Spirit x

I cry often now. It has not always been this way. I laugh at inappropriate things too, things that would make some people cry.

The night my father passed away my uncle told me not to cry because my mother needed me to be strong. I was 13 when that happened. I think it short circuited my ability to express emotions in a normal way... whatever normal is

There's so much in this thread that's sparking recognition in me. Needing to be silent ... the throat-lumps ... the mix of grief and rage that stews for a lifetime ... welling up over commercials and cute teddy bears and babies and new leaves in Spring while becoming numb and narcotic at the thought of crying for your own pain ... total empathy for others and none for yourself. God, it's crazy-making...

I feel like I need to have my psyche cracked open like a coconut to really cry. Often I am taken over in an instant; it's like being hit really hard on the head and I just react. It happened after the funeral visitation for my mother, when only a few close family members were present and the casket was opened. I threw out a sound, doubled over and sobbed while babbling along with my sister about how beautiful our dead mother looked. A few weeks later, I went to my now-husband (we were very new together at the time) and tucked myself into him and let howl -- the whole-body cry. I felt it building up that time.

I remember how lucid and strong I felt during that period after my mother died -- in part because I was feeling so much; the feelings were just coming and going like weather systems. I felt clear inside -- hard to put words to -- clear as in transparent and not weighed down with the usual crap.

Sometimes I just think that I'm reeeally constipated emotionally...

I get such a huge laugh out of the movie Something's Gotta Give. Diane Keaton's character howls her heart out...and under the hilarity, my own heart is hammering at the bars of her cage.

I have witnessed, so many times, tears coursing down the cheeks of loved ones, and I'm ashamed to say that my first reaction is usually a thought, a sort-of question: I don't get it...how can you can cry like that...

I dunno...sometimes I just think I'm missing an ability to weep naturally. Does anyone else feel this?

Hi Roo, Yes, sometimes now for shorter periods of time, I am unable to cry and so I don't. Rather, I accept it and without getting down on myself about it. It's not our fault; It's not within our control. Still, sometimes being able for me to cry does pass, but I'm confident and happy with its return.

And, I had lost the ability to cry naturally, for longer more significant periods of time, but again it returned.

Many, many yrs. back I felt and believed that this ability to cry naturally was lost to me and lost forever. I was pleasantly relieved to find, it wasn't.

Take Care, Roo


Hope

I cry nearly every time I read from "Chicken Soup for the Kids Soul" aloud to my children and I. At these time I don't cry loudly or anything, but the tears simply fall from my eyes and my mouth kind of frowns downward and my lips shiver a bit. (LMAO right now). Can't believe I'm sharing this here. (funny)

Anyhow, ....so cute, sometime in the last two days, my daughter she was actively listening to the story but watching me. Later she tells me, she loves stories, because she anticipates how they end. But after I had finished this one particular story she stated this is so sad and wrapped her arms around me, shed some tears and all the while inviting my comfort. I gave her a great big hug and held her, and then we moved onto the next story. She loves me reading her stories.

My son on the other hand, and this was another time, story and day, found himself steadily gazing into my eyes at the stories completion. He has these great big, lovely, brown eyes, but he is generally so active that those present moments then of his long ...I mean long, steady gaze of his felt brandnew. Yes, tears had silently been flowing down my face, but again so long, intense and him speechless. I remarked, what is so interesting that you're looking at. Giving him a smile and trying to be humorous, is there something on my face. He said, No Mommy, I see Jesus. He's living in you. Om, his words though they made me feel happy and believable, were also hard to believe at the same time, and made me want to ball my eyes out, ......but I didn't.

My husb.'s a member of the forum and I know he won't mind me saying this here, but sometime in the last week or two, he really surprised me and said that a movie I had rented brought him to tears. Him telling me this made me very happy.

IMHO, tears are a beautiful thing. Yes, at certain times they need to be contained, as in many places of employment and professionalism, but at home with family, or out with family and friends, or even places of worship, they need to be allowed to naturally flow out.

There were those yrs. however, I did not do much crying. Very little, perhaps for that matter; Sometimes still months return like this. It wasn't/isn't my fault at these times. Yet, now I can do something about it. I can consciously choose to look beyond and beneath my fear, sometimes terror and anger that to easily can freeze my tears and effectively render me helplessly numb. I not only give others permission to cry and can witness and be there for them, but I've given myself permission to look, to see and to cry.

Crying is a beautiful gift that can belong to all of us. Generally, I accept and receive this gift, but I can't and I don't make it happen. And, in certain instances I do still hold back tears and postpone perhaps hoping for a better, more suitable time.

Now, those tears and crying that are forced and are made to happen, as if on timing, at convienece, will and decision those, IMHO, seem to seek to serve a different purpose. I mention these, because they do exist and I've witnessed them in action in prior yrs. and have since learned to see right through them for what they are.

In addition, making mention of this here now, has reminded me, even yrs. later of some of my past, ....Real sadness, grief, illness, fear and trauma, where I was ridiculed, humiliated, accused of making believe and demanding attention and consequently attacked simply for asking for sincere help, direction to help, and all while in helplessness and tears. The chief one responsible then for invoking such feelings of degradation and despair then was my mother, who by the way, seemed rather able to cry at will depending, what then felt to me like, upon the amount of guilt she was willing to instill.

I have buried my emotions for so long that I do not cry about the things you might expect. I put the emotions in those little memory boxes where all the bad things are stored.

The tears come when one of those memory boxes is disturbed. If your story bumps up against one of those boxes .... tears.

If I try to tell part of my story .... tears, panic, and shaking

If someone says a kind word and a time when a box is open ... tears.

I have distanced myself from almost everyone emotionally to protect against the pain of loss. I stay away from the places of abuse ( a long way away, like not even going into those states). And I've developed certain safe ways to talk about events ... but sometimes the emotions get out of control if I'm in my "safe way of talking" and I see a note of empathy in someone's eyes ... tears.

Women can find excuses for the tears, but it makes people suspicious of guys. What a wimp.

Trent,
You are brave and strong in my books.

To cry shows much bravery and compassion for yourself. I do understand the dichotmoy between gender expectations and specific emotions. Irregardless, of gender you are a human being, and are designed the same way as us females. You are designed to release your emotions in this way. Forget about the social norms of society, and join me on the sofa with a good old weepy film, and a box of tissues :-)

Let us all cry and get all snotted up!

Spirit x

Hi - I find that if I am on an anti-depressant that I can't cry and when I am completely off them I am able to cry when I need to release. For this reason, I am off my anti-depressant but could really use it for the positive side of the drug. Anybody else notice this?

This week i can cry at the drop of the hat. Had the church people knock on my door todat telling me how i can be saved. Then they went on to tell me there are alot of bad people in the world now. and continued to Tell me about a pedophile leaving next door to her and that she had kids etc.
i burst into tears and shut the door. Is was just to close to home, its now runined my whole day. It has shaken me so much.
I also seem to cry for other people