I actually feel like a part of something...even if the people are secretive and afraid and embarrassed because of their past and it is hard to make friends...I have seen and it took me a year to let people in.. I never imagined this forum would become a way of life for me to communicate with others in such pain too, just looking for someone to assist them.. I have been feeling sorry for myself because i have so many traumas but so do others here...i finally am telling myself I am not a freak...i am a hurt wounded soul but i am working hard to repair relationships I have lost..I have been posting more in others diaries and I know I have some good things to say, sometimes it makes me feel good to see progress from something i have said or written........well written. My chat won't work...freezes my laptop everytime. Maybe i should try on my roommates before we go our separate ways, anyway I have received so much positive support and i have been so focused on my healing that I have not been using the user cp..that lets others know you appreciate their words and their little green dots increase...I have gotton mine at three and would love to know I am making a difference..so i am going to try from now on to take part in this process of helping each other and giving each other even kinder things to read...anything nice that is said...always will make a difference. i want to make a diference...I want to heal and i want my knowledge, cbt, nursing skills to continue to help others in any way.......so the sorry is..to all the people that support me and I did not use the user cp properly..i am sure I read it but my brain is like mush sometimes and my short term memory fails me more often than I would like.I will try my best to thank you this way. I plan to never leave this forum it has become like She said...a lifeline.

Pand,

Personally and my opinion only.......You have done nothing wrong that requires an apology. ALL of us at different times have needed more than we can give..... It's just part of PTSD. We are all at different levels of healing, and some need, some give. That's what this place is all about.

I recently have been depressed, and have needed and received. I thank all of those that have offered their shoulder and advice. Yes this place is a life line for some of us.

What's going on?

Pand,
You have done nothing to apologize for, honey!
We can tell that you have alot of stress right now with everything going on.
Keep breathing and be patient with yourself, Pandora; we are all patient too.

I have been feeling very guilty for "needing". Feeling not very worthy. It is just nice to know others need too. And its really nice that so many are willing to give here.

Pandora

You are exactly where I was this past Christmas season. You are sensing and feeling the same things I was. I am so sorry you are in this bad place. But trust me when I say "this to shall pass"

We all need different things at different times. I have discovered that the people I connect with sometimes are not able to help me when I need it cuz they are in need.

Reach out to others! There is always someone, even a newbie or a stranger that can at least listen and offer something to help out.

This community has come a long way and means a lot to a lot of people. We are all here for one main reason. "Understanding"

All any of us have to do to received what we need is ask for it. Smile and know WE
are all here for you . We are all in the same boat, just sitting in different seats

You have nothing to apologize for. I can tell that you are a really nice person and I haven't been here for very long. You are just as important to everyone here as they are to you. :)

Awakening...I was referring to neglecting to use the reputation button...it gives me a boost but I didn't realize it was there for a while.

Thanx everyone....anxiety with no sleep equals me worrying about everything and my life is kind of falling apart better with the positive self talk though.

Gramma Herc....."This too shall pass was so triggering".......thank you...definately something I am avoiding and need to face. Thank you for helping me today in more than one way!

Dude, I don't know about you, but I have more important things to address than some 'reputation button'. Damn. I could care less about it. What's more important to me is am I taking care of myself today and how am I dealing with the stress? Are you taking care of yourself? It seems to me that your are. That's all that is important to me.

Take care of your Self first and foremost!

tude