Roo - thank you! It has indeed, been very trying.

I just want to stress again, that I have no expectations of anti-depressants being a miracle drug. I do not however, expect that my anti-depressants create more depression for me when for the majority of my life, my depression has been manageable (with a few exceptions of major depressive episodes).

It seems that the SSRI's just aren't working for me. I am tired though of this process while also going to therapy. My body and mind are being overly taxed.

Best,
Rachel

Rachel...keep at it. Your body will tell you what is working and what's not.

I've become (out of necessity!) very adept at tracking even tiny changes in my body-mind. Recently, my doctor and I discussed an increase in my anti-depressant med; I agreed to this, and three weeks into the change I am noticing a definite lightening of mood.

I know, too, that the medication is but one tool in my repertoire...the "miraculous" aspect that I wrote of earlier applied to one specific symptom -- uncontrollable rage -- and I don't view the medication as a panacea that wipes out all trouble...If anything, I have to be even more mindful and work very closely with my thoughts, especially...

It's a risk...a crap-shoot...the best of medical professionals admit that they don't entirely know what makes SSRIs work (or not). The brain is such a mystery, but every other bodily system is so intimately connected with the brain that everything else can be affected...

Definitely the meds should not be making you feel more depressed! That, unfortunately, is what's known as a "paradoxical effect" --> the medication actually increases the symptom(s) that it's supposed to reduce.

It may be a time now, coinciding with Spring (oh thank Creation that it's finally here!), for you to detox your body and get clear in body and mind...then take the next step, whatever that will be. Just keep at it...you are finding your way...

In my best moments, I think of symptoms as wisdom...as messages that I must pay attention to. Keep listening in, and you will find a clear passage.

My thoughts are with you...

Roo

I respectfully disagree about the drugs being temporary. Let's re-examine nic's post:

My brother had the same reaction to this drug. I also have read news stories about individuals who have emotional breakdowns when attempting to go off these drugs.

Gwen Olsen (former sales rep) raises a valid concern. If you start taking these drugs, you may become a life long customer for the pharmaceutical industry. You may also have to deal with some very serious side effects. I started another thread on this:
SSRI's - The Evidence For and Against

I started taking Remeron about 3 weeks ago and I am not sure if the sedative nature is quite right for me. The Psychiatrist picked it because sleep is a major issue for me (night terrors, frequent disturbances) and there was worries of possible seizures but I am finding it's to much. Unless the alarm is set or something wakes me, I could probably sleep the day away. I'm going to give it more time to see how my body adjusts to it but if it continues I will be asking for something else.