Awakening...I find your statements at the end of your post to be an accusatory and condemning way to challenge. I know some may find those kind of replies helpful, but personally speaking, I would find that hurtful and detrimental - just my opinion. Guess I am grateful to have those in my life who can and will challenge me and encourage me without things that will come across to me as accusations and condemnations.

Grace, what you say is very valid, however; the aspect about my method of running this forum is based on what I know works. What another forum owner bases their forum upon is what they know works for them. This is why no one forum exists, nor is any one forum right. I do not say other PTSD forums are wrong and this one is right, instead I say to people that this forum is wrong for them if they want x, y and z from here, when this forum is not structured that way. I would simply refer a person who wants sympathy in excess with PTSD to go to another forum who works on the opposite spectrum of this forum, being lots of sympathy and blowing smoke up one anothers arse. Not here... elsewhere. Simple as that.

I am not dismissing peoples opinion, far from it. I am saying that this forum is not right for everyone, nor is another forum right for everyone. Find your forum that suits you best and if it works for you, stick with it. If not, change. This forum is about kicking people in the arse with a requisite amount of empathy and experience to share, to get sufferers out of denial and into action for their own health and well-being.

I DO NOT EXPRESS THIS FORUM IS FOR EVERYONE, NEVER HAVE, NEVER WILL. If you want sympathy in excess, then don't be here. Wanting sympathy has nothing to do with sharing your experience though, as you elude above Grace. If you are scared to write something here, then your scared period to share it.... and it sounds to me as you using this as an excuse to justify your action. Choice....

See it however you want, Anthony...it is not an excuse on my part to justify anything. Maybe you are justifying your harshness? I do not need to justify what I share or why - I just stated a reason as to why I hesitate at times. And just because ass-kicking works for one it doesn't mean that that is the answer to PTSD for all. Everyone does not need a kick in the butt to get out of denial and work for their own healing.

Correct, again, everyone doesn't. There are forums that will hold your hand and give you lots of sympathy.... though little effect is usually obtained, it does work for a few which is a great result. What is your point Grace? It will not change my way of running this forum though.... many have tried, and only the very few have made a point of something to satisfy me to change some things from what is this forums standard operating practice. New members come and go, people come here trying to change the forum... it will not work... end of discussion.

I agree with your statements about this forums methods not working for everyone, again, what are you missing about my words though surrounding that this forum is just not for everyone? Its not... nothing to hide. You choose to be here or not. Make your choice, and if any member remains here then sympathy is not catered beyond minor doses.

Not even worth trying to explain...I will enjoy the healing, encouragement and friends I have here and leave the rest...

Really? I'm quite surprised as I thought my examples were fairly well balanced blend between empathy/sympathy but also a challenge. Whether you took the challenge or answered the question or not, would of course be entirely up to you, you never have to answer. You can say thanks but no thanks or don't go there or whatever you want.

I guess your post just concerns me a bit because if someone posts a thread I'm assuming they want advice/help & feedback. I would be empathetic in my post but I'd assume by the very nature that they started the thread that it was okay to post.

It worries me that you say that you find my examples hurtful & detrimental, as I'd never ever want to cause that, so would probably chose just not to respond.

I don't know I guess I'm just not seeing what others are seeing in Anthony's post. I'm seeing him say sympathy, empathy is fine just make sure that's not what this forum develops into. Let's not make it all about empathy. He said it's 'creeping' back in here, not that it has become like that or that's it's wrong to desire it or give it.

I do however understand your point about being unique and the kick up the arse. Totally. And people have to respect your boundaries. Sometimes someone being harsh on me just has the opposite affect and makes me shutdown further rather then someone who mixes in a bit of empathy with some toughness.

There is nothing wrong with empathy or sympathy or wanting it, I mean we are human. But in the long term if all you got was this and nothing else I don't know if that would heal you on it's own.

Awakening, personally I see nothing wrong with your post either. I see nothing wrong with Hercs post beginning this topic, it was an issue for her which needed answering. Do not shift yourself from what you know and feel is right for you.

Awakening...perhaps my wording was too strong. What I personally might find harmful are the parts where you would say "You will never begin to heal unless", or "can't versus won't" etc. and while the belief behind the words may be true, it would just be the language. It is quite possible that I can't do something versus won't but you are judging that I am choosing not too when I may be unable to. But since you don't know me, you wouldn't know phrasing in such ways would be hurtful and I would do as I have done since joining the forum...just let it pass on by without taking offense. As I stated, it is me personally that would have a hard time with this kind of terminology while others would find it highly helpful. I try to be very, very careful in how I word things to others but I wasn't so careful in my response to you and I apologize.

I think there must be a blue moon out or the planets are out of alignment or people are suffering from something strange as there is a lot of aggression/tension on the forum let alone anyone wanting sympathy

Perhaps a deep breath, a fresh perspective or a good night's sleep is in order as some are overly sensitive of late.

I am not making fun of anyone, I am trying to make light as someone needs to break the tension around here. A good laugh is really healthy

I agree with Nicolette..as i was reading his thread i just kept thinking....why can't we just try to heal while helping others heal....I have been here a year now and would be lost without the support I get in what ever way anyone wants to describe it within their own personal misery and challenges while mosttly trying to just make a positive difference in a persons life.........or at least make them smile or rethink things if only for a bit.