I think it's right that your Dad is feeling guilty. By getting help you are shinning a spotlight on his misdeads. I'm here because of a traumatic car accident; but I was also molested and abused by people outside of my family as a child and my parents act the same way. I can tell it scares my Mom to talk about what happened even though she didn't know until it was too late. I can tell she still feels awful about it. All I can tell you is not to let someone else's guilty reaction deter you from getting help.

Andrea: You said nothing stupid, in fact, you gave me hope thank you!

Pookie: It's my mom that's the guilter, not dad. LOL

Thanks everyone! It helps to know that this seems to be an issue with our loved ones. I find it interesting how I can embrace this, accept this and want to tackle it head on, yet my family (except my partner) all want to run away and hide. Guess I'm a bit stronger than them eh? LOL

I'm sure in time this will all work out. I've been leaving my dad little pamphlets and articles on it to read. He called today and seemed much better about it!

Bec

Bec,
Im glad you have been leaving your dad pamphelts and articles...you will see that he will be there for you the way you need him to be once he understands better...i went throught that whole stage of "why the heck is my own husband doing this to me!!" when in fact it was nothing personal and he had PTSD...

of course it is! we have no idea what you are going through
In a way, its almost hard to catch PTSD and what its all about because there are so many different things involved with it! (from a million different emotions to depression) thats why we need the education... even i am still learning!
and yes you are the stronger person in this situation and it is obvious and i am glad! You will be ok...Anytime you need to vent to someone who is hardhaeded like your parents you are more than welcome to talk to me...i will admit i was hardheaded to a point...i regret it of course, but i was willing to learn and now i am able to be there in a better way...a more understanding way for my husband. And i want to be there for anybody who reaches out as well...because i know how hard it is and everybody needs understanding.

Andrea:

Don't let that regret linger. You DID learn about it, you DO support your husband, you DO support others like me! Those are all amazing and caring things! You should pat yourself on the back for that.

Don't forget to take care of yourself! That's just so important!!

I think all the spouses on here are amazing for putting up with people like me! All of you need to give yourselves more credit!!

Bec

I'll second that! Having everyone here for support is a life-saver, but I'm betting that actually having someone who cares with you while you deal with ptsd effects makes a huge difference. 3 cheers for spouses and partners - I raise my non-alcoholic beverage to you all!

Thanks so much for the kind words Bec! It means a lot to me considering i do beat myself up quite a bit....but it seems its something i just cant help..But i also do feel that i do have a caring heart and i would love to help those around me including anyone here...i dont always know how to unfortunately (nobody is perfect) but i have every intension to help & i do try my best.

And a big thank you to you Piglet!!~ i hope you are doing well today :-) you girls made my day better :-) You guys are going through something you cannot control or can control to a certain point, yet you have no idea how much YOU have helped people like me who want to understand! its amazing! And if they do not now, those around you will understand too and be able to be there for you.

Yeah, I found it to be much like slamming my head up against a brick wall when trying to confront the issue with my family years ago, as well. None of them want to hear it, or they want to minimize it, or straight out try to rewrite history altogether. It has to be extremely difficult for them to see it for what it really was, because that would make them culpable and probably increase their guilt to unbearable levels. So, I basically gave up on trying, instead focusing on myself and my kids rather than trying to get them to acknowledge the truth and stop blaming me for the crimes committed against me. However, that doesn't mean that it doesn't bother me from time to time when it comes into my mind even to this day.

This point really bothers me everytime my mother comes up in conversation. I know that my therapist will be starting on this subject with me soon, so maybe it will help me cope with it?

Bec

OMG, my mother just dropped in... GRRRR

What a fun conversation that was!! NOT. I got the whole, well my life was much more traumatic than yours and I don't have PTSD, crapola.

So then I find myself comforting my mother since she is just incapable of handling anything. The poor thing. You know it's so hard being abused by me when I tell the truth and it hurts her feelings.

Then she told me that no one can express feelings around her since she can't handle it, since we are all abusive to her. So, I'm not to come over to her house unless I'm an emotional robot. CAN YOU SAY PITY POT!!!!:cussing:

It's not like I go there to begin with!! And this is my house, if I want to be emotional than I bloody well will!!!:angry-fla

God, she drives me nuts.

One good thing though, I used a grounding technique to not pick her sorry butt up and toss her right onto the street!! Now, I'm going to go smoke and mull over my disgust.

Bec

Damn right! Well done for being so restrained Bec - not sure I would have been!