You know you did well bec... and that is great. I think you did very well.

That sounds like my family. I told my pastor about what happened to me. He said that outside of support groups and counselers I probably was best not to talk to anyone about it. Why? I asked. He said "People can sometimes try to give advice that isnt always the best advice and can often make a bad situation even worse." I have over and over, in my life tried to gain the support of my family and the truth is it always just makes the situation worse. I have just started avoiding any negative subject with mine. And I never ask for their advice. As much as it sucks, I found personally that the best way to deal with my family and my problems is to keep them seperate. I do whats best for me and mine and they can do whats best for them and theirs. Dont let them get you down. They just have old fashion, narrow minded beliefs.

Hehe, man haven't looked at this thread in awhile.

I've still been trying to get it through my family's thick skull about the ptsd. Not much luck so far.

My mother is completely out of the picture so no issues there.

My brother is moving home next week and has been asking questions. He didn't even know I had trauma. (he made himself a reality that doesn't exist for when we were kids.. he doesn't recall anything) He's been asking about my meds, what I have, why I have it. He actually seems to be more interested and more open to it than the rest of them. So I will see how it goes after they settle in here. I'm not holding my breath though.

As for my dad, I gave him the Understanding PTSD, guide for carers, to read today. He read the whole thing right in front of me. After reading it.. he told me that it's no different from normal stress. Just another excuse to not work. So I give up. Obviously, he doesn't want to understand, nor cares to. I will no longer be having any conversations with him on this. I'm tired of banging my head against a brick wall. It's his decision to ignore the facts, I will respect that.

I don't really feel hurt by it anymore, I feel resigned to it all. I guess I'm starting to accept that my family sucks the big one. Looking to them for support is a guarentee that I will not get it and will fall flat on my face. I knew this before, but didn't want to accept it. Now I have to.

So family support? Not here, nor will it ever happen.

The only support I will get is what I give myself, my two closest freinds and here. Considering, I think I'm better off with this support system, than my family's.

bec

Bec, I feel like I am writing to you a lot tonight. Hope you don't mind! All I can say is your father is wrong. What you've experienced is not normal stress. The story Jim and I read alone is more stress than most people experience in a lifetime. I'm glad you are resigned to your family's ignorance and are able to detach. It's unfortunate they are not trying, but your attitude really is the best to have. Less painful for you in the long term.

Don't mind at all!

That is what I thought too. By removing myself from the emotional disappointment, I am protecting myself. I'm also being reasonable. After almost 33 years.. they haven't attempted to try or change. I've given them the information and the tools, they choose what they do with it. I need to choose what is healthy for me.

yeah, I thought he was rather wrong too. He's just trying to make excuses to protect himself from his responsiblity in this. It's suprising really. Normally he's good about responsiblity stuff.. but maybe knowing that his daughter has permanment damage from it is too much. No idea, nor am I going to worry about it.

I think my support system (here, myself and my closest freinds) is actually rather excellent. Quality vs. quantity! :biggrin:

bec

My wife (Marilyn) has tryed to talk to her Mom about the things that happened to her. She is in complete denial! "oh, your Dad and brothers could never have done such things."
Well, I may have stepped in the sh!t on this one, but her Mom has been trying to get in contact with her since she went into the hospital. She made the mistake of contacting me. Being the a$$hole that I can be I refused to tell her what was going on.... She pushed alittle too hard, however...
When she asked me, "well what has Marilyn done now?"I popped my cork!! I told her that Marilyn had done nothing, that it was done to her!!! I told them that it was time that they addmit that this trauma did happen, and that they were either going to be part of the healing or they are part of the problem...
Im very concrete operational in my thinking. To me there are no grey areas. Things are cut and dryed. These people are either going to be supportive, or all Hell is going to break loose. She in in the hospital from interaction with these people over the years and right now I can confront these people with out her being caught in the middle.
By not accepting the fact that she was abused they invalidate every feeling that she has from her symptoms. She loves her Mom, and everything goes just peachy as long as it is kept on a superficial level. As soon as Marilyn tries to talk about what bothers her it over... Its all her fault!!
Well, not this time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:angry-fla

P.O.ed in MO

I told my family what I was going through. They didn't seem to care about it. The more I tried to explain, the less they listened. My son is the only one who really understands what I have gone through. I thank God he is old enough to understand. For almost 10 years I kept it all inside. Just lately, I have forced myself to start talking about all of it. Needless to say, I have walked away from most of my family.