Well folks.. I have some answers! Many times myself and many members have asked over and over, how to work on this! How do I make this better? How do I control it?

Your just not going to believe the answer to this one!

I now have a trauma specialist. I had to do a battery of tests and complete history. We discovered that my disassociation levels are in the "dangerous" zone. This is including episodes of derealization, depersonalization and any others similar.

It is caused by trauma and symptoms. A lovely double whammy there.

Well, in order for me to move forward with therapy (get into the nasty trauma!) I have to get this particular set of symptoms down.

Guess how you do that?

Your thinking fix the trauma? Do trauma work? Take pills? Shocks? Nope all wrong.

You have to have... routine. A schedule. What time you get up at, what time you go to sleep. How long you sleep for. When you shower, when you eat, when you clean (what type of cleaning), what ENGAGING activities you are going to fill your hours with, what your bedtime routine is.. and exercise.

That is it. A very very specific routine.. that you follow like it was written in stone. The foundation of this routine is to be engaged in activities that engage your mind and body. So you do crosswords puzzles, puzzles, crochet, knit.. paint, walk, run, jog, have coffee with friends, volunteer, go to museums.. etc..

No.. tv or video game time counts as engaging activities. TV, computer and video games are to be of short duration as little as possible. Or combine. For example.. I will watch my law and order but crochet at the same time.

Now.. this takes a long long time to implement. I have been at this for four weeks now. I've gotten my walks in this week. Bedtimes are a still completely screwy, I have supper down pat, my crochet group down pat.. basically I have lot's of work to do yet. In just four weeks, my disassociation has slightly improved with only slight improvements in my schedule.

Now if your wondering what the basis is for this... as my therapist put it.. I am retraining new neurological pathways for my brain. laymen's terms... new coping skills.

Who would have thunk eh?

bec

Thanks Bec,

You have encouraged me alot, I'm working out my routine for tommorrow with plenty of engaging activities.

Bec,

This is really quite interesting! I've always dissociated fairly heavily and I'd love to find a way to work on it. I'm going to talk to my T about what you mentioned here and see what he thinks about it for me. Thanks for this.

Best,
Rachel

I, too find this interesting. I have always been told to NOT have a set routine because I then have a harder time with the PTSD, especially the agoraphobia part, when I try to do anything different than what is in my routine. I have struggled with this, as my routine is my "safe zone." I also have a problem with dissociation, especially in difficult situations that are often beyond my comfort zone.

This is interesting - I've found having a routine helpful in keeping my mood in check, but it didn't occur to me it would help with dissociation too. I have incedentally found that I'm dissociating less though (and am more or less doing what your therapist advised).

Thanks for sharing!

Hey, Bec - thanks for your post! I've got questions. lol I naturally have a strong, strong routine as it is the only thing that keeps me safe as I disassociate. Somehow I usually go or do everything necessary when I am "gone" - at least I find me places I am supposed to be or things done that are supposed to be done even when disassociated and people refer to conversations they had with me, etc. I had to employ this skill during the years of trauma. But how do you not disassociate? I guess I go on automatic pilot when I am gone but how do I not leave at all? My T says I can't always stop it from happening although she hoped the schedule would lessen it but for some reason doesn't. Grounding techniques sometimes work, sometimes not. Any thoughts?

grace - my sense is that small incremental exposure helps. Getting just to the limit of what you can tolerate without dissociating, and realising it's okay. And then over time you can tolerate more. Also, lessening anxiety and getting enough sleep have been critical for me. I dissociate way more when tired, and there are certain times of the day I can't have difficult conversations.

Ok, I am going to embarrass myself. This sounds crazy and I don't know when I started doing it. It was not a conscious decision and it is probably a very bad idea......I count. And I don't even realize it, but when I start to disassociate I start counting the slats in the venician blinds or counting the ceiling tiles or floor tiles and after counting; I start factoring.

Does anybody else do this? It helps me stay present, but it is very distracting and once I start counting I can't stop....ok, that's all I'm saying.

Auburngirl - exposure has helped in some areas and not so much in others. Some areas just can't seem to be helped no matter what. I am trying to accept that and not beat myself up so much about it.

Cecilia - not crazy at all in my opinion. I count as well...count all the time whether disassociated or not - all connected to trauma. Unfortunately it doesn't usually help me stay grounded and I don't often realize I am doing it. So if it is crazy, at least we aren't alone. lol

Oh by the way; I like Bec's idea much more because now I have to figure out how to stop counting. Perhaps a more structured routine will keep my mind busy.