Actually I have 3 questions;

1. How often do you see your therapist/psych? (e.g. daily, weekly, monthly, etc)

2. How often would you like to see your therapist/psych (e.g. every hour, never!)

3. Ideally, how often should a client be seeing a therapist/psych in order to best facilitate the healing process?

The reason I ask is that I was seeing my therapist weekly but at the start of this year switched to fortnightly. Ideally I would like to see her more but it comes down to time, money & the fact I don't want to be so dependant on her.

I know I shouldn't think for her, but I get the impression that she would like to go back to weekly. She asked me at the end of the last session why I was now coming fortnightly and was it a financial thing. I said in part, and she said we should discuss this further next time.

I've been seeing her now for nearly two years.

I addressed this in some other thread the other night.

I see my counselor weekly. It does concern me if I am too dependent on him to live a normal life. But mostly I think I do lead a 'normal' life as best I can.

I really am alone in this world except for my therapist and best friend who this year retired and has become a vagabond (around about 1 week a month). Bev and my therapist are the only people in the world that can listen to my past and present, and recognize the struggles I have living.

I have family and an adult daughter (adult? 22). None of which bother to relate to me and my PTSD. Their token line is "just get over it" not recognizing it's impact on most of my days and nights.

Ultimately, I shrug my shoulders and think what the heck it's keeping me centered and out of the hospital. They often respond to the reactions of my family and keep it in perspective - highlighting the inappropriate responses and helping me to discard their hurtful remarks.

1. I see my psych once every two to three months now, but before being stabilized on meds I seen her once a month. I see my therapist once every two weeks. We are doing safety work at the moment. Once I start doing exposure therapy that will increase to once a week.

2. Exactly how much I see them now. If I need more time I let them know, if I need less I let them know. They also do the same of me. I have no set time, just what I need to meet my needs currently.

3. This completely depends on where you are in the healing process and what route you took for healing. I am doing exactly the process as the trauma diaries. Exposure therapy. This takes place in three stages; safety, exposure, and integration. The three stages tend to hop all over the place (it is not a linear process.) For the safety stage (which is coping techniques, reducing symptoms etc.) and the integration stage (management stage) I only need to go once every two weeks so that I have a chance to implement the techniques I am learning. For the exposure I need to go every week, so that I am digging at it until it is all unearthed (being pushed basically) and being more closely monitored due to the increase in symptoms.

If you are doing CBT only, it is considered to be a short term, coping/technique based therapy that works on the here and now. It tends to run from 6 to 12 weeks long. I realize there are more methods ( I refuse to even consider blasted EMDR in my responses!) but someone who is living it should answer those.

What ever method you are doing, you should have a clear idea of what it is, what stages there are and how long the approximate times should be expected. Therapy is useless unless there is a clearly defined and attainable goal discussed and agreed upon. If your going to therapy and have no clue of what method your doing, what to expect, or a time line (remember time lines are only general, they change as you go) then you are not seeing a professional therapist that is client oriented.

bec

Well I have absolute no idea what I'm doing. I feel as though basically my therapist keeps my head above water. Most of the time I'm so overwhelmed and she reduces that so I can continue to function, albeit at a reduced ability.

Mainly we have concentrated on reducing my overwhelming feelings and introduced coping mechanisms.

One of my traumas I have written out completely, yet since then we've said maybe half a dozen sentences about it (and that was about 2, 3 months ago).

I've also talked a little about my suspected trauma as a child, but very limited.

We've discussed my symptoms; nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety attacks a lot.

I came to her originally because of drama in my family, and to immediately reduce that stress which was ongoing for quite some time. The PTSD stuff came about in dribs & drabs over the course of addressing this original problem. Then the original problem (the family drama) would flare up we'd address that, then go back to PTS related stuff.

Since then I've still had some ongoing stresses namely my relationship & my job.

Gosh. I'm just so confused right now.

I also dissassociate alot in therapy when talking about trauma, so then there is a lot of time grounding.

I'm thinking maybe I've been too busy concentrating on current stresses to actually attack the past stuff. Just treading water basically.

Okay, I am going to be blunt here. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings.. but I think you need to think about this.. and maybe look at a few things... So. this is your fair warning...

What I read is just a pile of excuses. How long have you been in therapy for? What have you accomplished in that time? Have you made any changes in your trauma or symptoms?

If all of us went to therapy and just concentrated on reducing overwhelming feelings and coping mechanisms, not a single one of us would be one step ahead of the day we came here. Your chasing your tail.

Why are you avoiding a therapy where you know what is going on, what the goal is, and how long you expect to be doing it for? What benefit are you getting from avoiding this type of therapy? Is treading water good enough for you?

Really Awakening, wake up. Your worth so much more than this. You deserve better than this.

I do not in any way expect actual answers to these, I do hope that you will think about all these questions and maybe find your path from the answers.

Meant in the best of ways,
bec

Hello Awakening, I think you need to get to point when just keeping your head above water is not good enough. It seems you want more. I understand what you are saying because I've done that in therapy too in the early stages particularly. From your post you sound like you are unsatisfied with progress though. Is that right? If it is, Bec is totally right. I think you need to start tackling the trauma, either with this therapist or another. Once you start doing that you will really see big changes. Life will become so much more enriched instead of running from one symptom to another.

What's stopping you?

Bec, Claire - I like blunt. Please do not spare my feelings, seriously just give it to me between the eyes, I think I need it. I think I've reached that point. I've had enough.

If my feelings get hurt then refer back to this post, I will tell you if it's enough.

I really need to spend some time thinking about your questions Bec. But to answer one question - I've been in therapy for two years.

What am I avoiding what is stopping me?

I don't believe that I was sexually abused by my uncle. Whilst I do have thoughts of what I think happened it does not feel like a real memory. I still can't grasp that it may have happened. I think it's possible it didn't happen, yet not sure what other explanation there is for these thoughts that something did happen. Is this denial or logic? I don't have a proper memory of this. I've avoided asking my mum & dad if they think this is possible because I don't want them to think I've lost the plot mentally, or for them to deny it or for my mum to have a nervous breakdown.

I feel like a fraud. I don't feel I'm really a trauma victim.

I know the stuff with my ex boss happened, as it was it documented, yet still I think I misunderstood, I was never in any real danger, sure thought he was going to rape me but the reality is he didn't. I guess I'm thinking get over it.

I feel like all this therapy and trauma stuff is a big pity party and part of me is disgusted with myself. The other part quite frankly enjoys the attention & empathy my therapist gives me.

Hi Awekening, the fear of almost being raped is scary so I wouldn't dismiss that. I feel that some one molested me too and I called two aunts and they both verified that they heard I was molested by an uncle. I also asked a different uncle if he heard anything and he said he didn't.

I was worried having to call these two aunts up and ask them such a difficult question but I needed answers. I still don't know if it's true because it's all hearsay. But I pretty much let it go and figure it will reveal itself when it's ready to, if ever.

I think therapy is good to vent and get things off of your mind. But actually depending on a therapist might seem like co-dependency IMO.

My therapist wants to see me weekly because he thinks I was improving and then hearing about the possible molestation made him nervous, and he is worried if I don't stay in therapy I will revert because I told him I don't stay in therapy for very long periods of time.

I only had one therapist I've connected to in 25 years of trying, and I only saw her for 3 years and I felt better and stopped going (that was over 10 years ago) I only just started therapy 7 months ago after a nervous breakdown.

I don't think I need therapy every week, but that's what he wants. I told him I can't afford it so they are working with me so I can afford it. But that doesn't mean I will go every week because he wants me too. He will need to give me a better reason why I need to go every week, when I see him next time.

Some people are able to deal with their problems on their own easier than others. I don't know for sure what advice I can give to you about therapy but share my own experiences.

Take care
Tammy

What's a fortnight? Is that in metric?

Let's see, centimeters to inches. Gallons to liters. Farenheit to Celcius. Okay.

Are they now doing time in metric system?

fortnight is two weeks- and it's British so I'd say it's imperial rather than metric!