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| | Notices | Welcome to PTSD Forum. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a life threatening, debilitating disorder that can break down a sufferer’s body through anxiety and stress. Further it poses a significant suicide risk resulting from the brains neurological imbalance and chemical depression. Sufferers often live in denial, thus this community is aimed at helping PTSD sufferers help themselves through others experiences, guidance and education. We are here for the sufferer, spouse and families surrounding PTSD. Spouses and family are too often forgotten in this equation, and often they receive all the worst that PTSD has to offer. If you're involved in any way with PTSD, get registered and help yourself now. Non-active members will eventually be deleted. If you are not a sufferer, carer or someone within the mental health industry, and active, then there is little reason for you to be a member of this forum. Non-active members with zero posts are deleted periodically during the year. |  | | 
17-04-2008, 02:45 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Canada
Posts: 56
| |  Family Not Willing to Understand PTSD and You
Have any of you had a family member refuse to understand what you are going through? Which caused problems with your relationship? ie. refuses to talk unless it's on his/her terms. |
17-04-2008, 03:48 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 449
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Yes. I moved out.
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder; Mental Illness is in the eye of the controller." |
17-04-2008, 09:17 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Upstate NY, USA
Posts: 373
| |
OH MAN. I think my brother is the worst. "Just get over it" but don't tell me anything about it. My sister and mom recognize I have hard days but don't get why or understand the hard. They don't really want to know any details and will just turn the conversation back to them.
One thing I have figured out is they are in denial and have a lot of guilt because none of them kept an eye on me when I was abused and it was their responsibility. So they can't accept that it happened, although they don't come right out and say that.
As far as my relationships go with them, from my perspective the relationships are all superficial on many levels. I've learned not to trust them with my feelings and thoughts because they only ignore them or deflect them back on me as a weakness.
They on the other hand believe we are so 'close'. HAH! What a mask I wear. |
17-04-2008, 11:34 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: USA
Posts: 257
| |
Cindy,
Good post. My PTSD is not discussed either. My daughter just says " Oh mom". She likes to bring up the things, I did wrong bringing her. She knows how I watched over her to make sure she would never be abused sexually.
Any boyfriend I had, I would lurk around the corner watching. I taught her as a very young child about touching unapproiately and being aware of her surroundings when away from me. If I didn't succeed in being the mom she thought I should have been, I was always watching out for her more than she realized. Maybe, one of these days I will share with her my past. She knows somethings but not all. Cindy once again you are a good writer.
sunnydaze |
17-04-2008, 11:36 PM
| | | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: USA
Posts: 257
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moog,
Sometimes your good friends are more willing to be compassionate to your past than your family
sunnydaze |
18-04-2008, 01:24 AM
| | | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Texas
Posts: 154
| |
Good post.
No, they were not willing to understand, but I also know those were hard times for us.
My family of origin showed the most understanding, b/c they lived the same nightmare I did growing up.
My extended family, aunts, uncles, people I looked up to were caring on one hand, intolerant and mean on the other hand. One uncle said "weak minded". I try to stay away from him, though I idolized him while growing up.
My current Dr, specialty is addictionology, does not want to hear about it.
This is about the only place I talk about PTSD.
That is why I am really gratefull for this forum. |
18-04-2008, 01:24 AM
|  | | | Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 13
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Unfortunately , yes Moog I have. I sent reading material and still haven't heard from them. Unless they live in the same household, it is hard for others to grasp. (they live far, Ottawa) . I try to encourage them to call hubby but, it is difficult if they pick a day he doesn't want to talk on the phone.
If your situation is different and you can see family regularily......you can give them reading material.... or even this website ( don't know of any other website) so they can read and try to grasp/absorb. Takes time....
Lola |
18-04-2008, 01:29 AM
|  | | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: New Mexico, USA
Posts: 667
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Those people who refuse to understand or have compassion for what I went through are off my christmas card list. I do not associate with them at all. Life is too short to hit your head against the wall trying to convince people that you are hurting. They can't / won't / or deny your pain because they don't feel it. It does not exist for them.
Instead, make a new family. I understand.
Your long-distance cousin,
2quilt |
18-04-2008, 07:20 AM
|  | | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Netherlands Antilles
Posts: 757
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Pains me once more to see so many of you with family unwilling to step up to the plate. My daughter has PTSD, deceased son also had it. Wife and I would do anything for either of them. Jim. |
18-04-2008, 07:30 AM
| | | | Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Canada
Posts: 56
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