Ok cypher, your doing ok there, but your taking on some things that you just do not own... you first put it on them, then blamed yourself again further down. Lets now pull this apart one at a time so you can relearn the truth to your life, using commonsense and realism to what occurred. You need to fill in the blanks here obviously.

I want you to notice something here cypher, a very important aspect of abuse. Whilst I say to you that you own some aspects here, is because of the short period of time in which things escalated and you could have controlled compared to an abusive relationship, where love and strong emotion is at play, often a slower process of degradation to break the partners self esteem to dependence upon the stronger, allowing them to do anything they want. Your time frame was much shorter than an abusive relationship with a partner, though still does carry and warrant some aspects which need to be dealt with.

Lets start at the beginning and ease you into this one step at a time.

You Let Them Stay With You

Tell me about this first part... everything you can remember please from opening the door... your thoughts, feelings, guilt if any, etc.

OK, so I'm sitting there playing Super Mario Sunshine on my gamecube(nobody laugh ), when someone knocks on the door. I open it and it's my mom, I hadnt seen her in a few years, she looked much older and diffrent from what I remember. She explaind who her partner was and the both smelled of smoke, alcohol, but I let them in, I felt badly and did not like seeing my mom in this condition. I did not feel guilty for this at al.

They behaved ok that night and the first few days or weeks. They did drugs once in front of me and I noticed they were using the same needle, so I went to the store and bought them needles (is this supporting their addiction, or trying to prevent them from getting sick, I saw it 99% the latter, but 1% of the other.)

One day I did not have needles and he punched me in the stoumach multiple times. I got needles the next day and they were furious at something?? Was it me, did something happen while I wasnt there? Turns out they gave me a specific time to be home by and i didnt make it (just remembered this part) they had become very controlling iin not alot of time. Things ran through my head like did they plan this out, my mom knew I was terrified of spiders. Or was it something else? I dont know.

I was drugged and tied down with the spider on me crawling toward my fack/neck. They are laughing at me trying to get away from it but cant. It goes close to my mouth and they plug my nose so I have to breath through my mouth and it half way crawled insied/ I threw up and it got away for a bit.

TBC......

Wow. The spider incident is cruel cypher. I feel for you.

Well done cypher, we have a starting place. So you didn't feel guilty... more empathy for your mothers current condition. Nothing bad with that.

Yes, this is called enabling behaviour. Regardless that you did it for any other reason you want to tell yourself, even felt as being right at the time, end of the day you enabled their taking of drugs by not saying something at that time, ie. "If you want to stay here then you cannot do drugs here." An assertive stance was needed, though doesn't help now in hindsight, so lets keep going forward. Learn from your mistakes is my point here. Do not enable a persons poor behaviour, regardless what benefits you feel it could have, if the behaviour is poor in judgement, illegal or of health consequence, simply do not enable it period. Learn from your mistakes, this is part of the identification process.... don't ignore anything. This is why we are starting at the beginning.

IMPORTANT: They both own their behaviour of drug use... you own nothing of their use. You own enabling their behaviour of taking drugs in your home by buying them needles, that is all you own. Accept that, not the drug use; unless you willingly took drugs yourself, not by force.

He owns this physical violence, not you. You are the victim of his behaviour, a behaviour which he owns outright. You have nothing to own or feel guilty off here. You need to learn this... you need to repeat this over and over until you get it in your head with a clear distinction of what you own vs. what others own. Isolate them both.

I will put it to your simply I think... they preyed upon you as you likely already had a low self esteem to put up with this rubbish to begin with. The answer to why you had low self esteem already is yet to be discovered.

They own this behaviour. Simply question. Did you ask to be tied up and have a spider put on you? If the answer is yes, then you own that. If the answer is no, then you own no part in this behaviour and they are responsible for it 100%. You are the victim in relation to this aspect.

The big question to understand here is... why did you stay in that circumstance since it was within only days / weeks of beginning?

cypher,
This sounds like a terrible, terrible sadistic movie. I cannot comment on this as,I am very disturbed by your story and you going through this. My only advise right now to you is GO TO THE POLICE. Do not let them in your home any longer. I don't know if this is the right advise to give you but, I would move and get a non-published number. I know one can't run away from their problems and must face them but this is too too much.
I will pray you do the right thing for yourself.
Welcome
sunnydaze

It helps, yes to a point. I just learned recently (last day or so) they were both arrested. THat helps alot. BUt it still scares the &*#$ out of me anytime someone knocks on my door. And i'm very alert as to when my neighbors are coming and going, amoung other sounds and stuff.

Take Care

Go Habs!

That is so true! I really dont know most others traumas here, and I hope that everyone is doing well! Alot of whats being said here hits home. And this did. I couldnt let my mom out on the street, cold and nowhere to go, roaming the streets, nothing to eat. I did have clues something was wrong and I tried to help her fix it, but things got out of control quite quickly. I do love my mom and it really killed me that she did something like this to me. I don't like that fact that I cant trust her anymore. I'm sad that whatever happened in her life lead her to the choices shes made. I tried to get them both to go to alcoholic group sessions/ drug addict groups, but no luck.

Take Care and thanks for the post, it helped, I hope I can do the same for others.

Thats admirable for doing that, I'm sure you helped alot of people!!

Thats a heafty statemant, and so true, not that I would reccomend doing something of that nature, but its true. Thanks for the statement.

Thats a good idea, I wouldnt want to happen upon one one day, or have someone using my computer and find them and be like "what the %*!@!!

I'll try doing that sometime in the near future, sooner the better. Great idea, thanks!!

[quote=anthony;67836]This forum has a legal policy, ensure you have read it and understand it. If not, take it to your legal practitioner and they will help you.quote]

I read it, but dont get it, I'm not very legally knowledgable about stuff like that and I cant spell either. I'll read it again later with my dictionary.