I think my girlfriend has more problems than I can take on, so I ended it with her tonight. I thought I'd be more upset, but I think I'm okay.

I fell in love with her, but she has been getting worse lately and I guess I got kind of fed up with how she's been treating me. I won't elaborate because I don't want to offend anyone, or disrespect her.

I'll miss her, sure, but I just don't think she's well enough to be in a relationship right now. I truly felt she was my soulmate, but I can't be anyone's doormat.

Thanks to those of you who had nice things to say to me, I truly appreciate your help and kind words.

Be well....
-Unbroken heart....

Unbroken,

Although I'm truly sad to see you go, I'm very pleased that you refuse to be a doormat. No one should be. Some of us just are not ready for relationships, some of us know that, some don't.

Be well, treat yourself well. I wish the best for you. It has truly been a pleasure.

bec

Unbroken - my heart goes out to you! I have admiration for your willingness and how you tried to be there. Lucky girl I say; it's a pity she's not well.

You are right however, and you do not deserve to be treated like a door mat.

Wishing you all the very best

That is a difficult one!

I do hope you will be okay? You have addressesed your boundaries and that is positive for you and her. She may have her breakthrough now? If she is ready? I hope she realises that it is more than likely the consequences of her behaviour that have lead to this?

I feel a bit angry! Angry about how trauma causes so many issues - too many broken hearts, too many casualties...........It's a tough old road!

You tried to love her unbroken and that is a wonderful gift!

I will be sad to see you go! But, I am happy to have shared some of your journey ;-)

Spirit x

Thank you. I know I've made mistakes, but it just seems she is very unforgiving. I guess I'm just not the right guy for her, if anyone is. I tried, and I learned a lot, but it seems she has a problem with everyone around her and lately I've been included in that mix.

I guess I'm not as patient and understanding as I thought I was, because when I get painted into a corner I do get a little defensive.

thanks for the kind words....

Two people make a relationship - not just one so the responsibility has to be shared.

While you may have your faults, we all do Unbroken, and it is natural to be defensive if painted into a corner. I think you could ease up on yourself a bit as from what you've written you come across as a pretty decent guy in my books!

Thank you, Nicolette. I'm sure she'd tell a very different story right about now! I feel bad, because I really do care for her, but for the past couple weeks I've been drained and wondering if I should end it with her. I thought that she was 'the one' because we had so much in common, but she's been so angry lately that it has been very difficult for me to deal with.

I'm a bit sad, but know that I have to do what's right for me, too.

thanks...

While I hate to sound corny, perhaps walking away make help your girlfriend find a little perspective.

I personally don't believe having a break helps as if you can't work it out while you are in it things aren't going to get any better being apart (avoidance if you ask me). However, that said, it does not mean it that it wont work for you.

It sounds to me you are still in love Unbroken or perhaps it is just disappointment that you thought you found something but it ended up being different to what you had thought.

Whatever the outcome, take care!

Well, I don't hate her, and part of me still loves her for who she is inside, but she hasn't been that person for a while now. I realize that her PTSD is a big part of it, but there never seems to be a good time to talk about how I feel because she gets upset whenever things aren't in her favor.

The source of a lot of our recent problems is that we make plans and they always get changed multiple times because of one thing or another, and she expects me to be okay with that every time. Most of the time it's hours, but sometimes it's days, and it gets old. If I say something she throws the whole "you obviously don't understand what I'm going through" routine at me. I'm very much aware of what she's going through, but at what point can I voice my feelings about it without getting chastized for it?

One day she wanted me to be at her house at 4, I got there at 4:05 and she wasn't there, when I called her, she complained that I was late. Another time I got there 5 minutes early, and thought to myself, "watch her complain about me being early". Sure enough, she gave me grief for being early. I started to feel like I just can't win with her...and if I say something she always says, "I was just kidding".

Yes, I felt a very strong connection with her as we shared so much in common. I just don't think she's been very fair to me.

Unbroken,

Her behavior as you describe it is very much PTSD when it is out of control. Everything and anything can potentially set off the anger. It is powerfully difficult to deal with it and ride out the rough spells. You are right that you should not allow yourself to be mistreated. It is difficult to set and maintain boundaries of acceptable behavior with a PTSD partner - it is a lot of WORK, actually. Sometimes, even if you have been with the person a long time, it is still difficult to look past the PTSD behavior and see the good person still there, struggling to find a way out into the open again.

I don't know how anyone could form a lasting relationship with a person who was in the midst of a down phase of PTSD early in the relationship. Your relationship is too new to make it through the months that it may be before it gets better again.

Perhaps you will learn and grow from this relationship. Perhaps it will not be wasted.

Best wishes to you,

Cowgirl