Well, I guess you then have an option if justice does not prevail.

Can't blame you for how you feel Jim. Evie's only a friend and I want to see him punished let alone feeling like a parent. It's disgusting.

Yep. Only reason I'm calm at the moment is because I've known for over a year. Wasn't so when I first found out let me tell you.

Jim.

Hi Jim!
i speak as a rape victim that you really should be careful with you dougthers wishes
it her you put on the stand
unfunertly its the victim that have to go trhough all the mess again..
with a lot of shame and feelings to belong with it..
so dont pusch your dughter to anything
send her to some conselleing and make the teraphist leed you along the way
im sorry to say it will be a road that have many bumbs and turns but with the right support the road is going to be lighter..

i send you the warmest hug i can give you and your doughter
i feel for you all
and feel free here to ask us anything here
we are a lot of victims am sad to say
but we all in here wishes you the best of luck!

Tessan

OUCH! This is difficult, Jim. I'm in the legal field, but not in your country, so I cannot comment about the laws you are dealing with.

The Catholic Church did the same thing in the USA, moving priests from parish to parish when the priests were caught molesting children. It temporarily saved face for the church, but it gave the predators a whole new crop of unsuspecting victims.

Personally, if parents came to me with such a case, I would talk to them sympathetically. But if the victim was not on board, I would not take the case. First, it would be virtually impossible to prove the case against him without her cooperation. Second, even if I could prove the case without her cooperation, if she is not ready to pursue the case against him, it could be damaging to her emotionally and I would want no part in that. I went into this profession to help people, not to harm them.

I fully understand your anger. If that was my situation, I'd have to work very hard at not shooting the SOB, honestly.

But ultimately, she was the victim. Yes, you feel victimized too, as you love her and you dealt with the fallout from the priest's crimes. But she was the victim. And ultimately, it is her needs that should be respected.

I would counsel you to take a back seat in this case. Let other victims pursue it.

Hugs,

Cowgirl

Thank you Cowgirl, much appreciated. Though believe you misunderstand the nature of my involvement here. I am not speaking for my daughter. She and the (so far) 5 others who have agreed to write statments or testify are the ones pressing charges. We as parents are doing other things. Such as. I have contacts which are helpful. My brother is a higher official in the Church, and he assisted us (unofficially) to find the man, and is continuing to give us some general advice. The solicitor the kids have hired is a longtime friend of myself, and his firm has done other clergy abuse cases previously. I am contributing a large portion of his fee. Currently we are looking for other victims. That is the main work of the parents at the moment, to find more parents and kids. The priest in question is older so there may very well be hundreds. Just received an email this morning from a boy in my daughter's class, also abused and also willing to participate. So. No. I am not doing any actual legal aspects. I cannot.

My question here was not a legal one. Rather it is was - am I crossing a boundary with my daughter, as a PTSD sufferer. Legal advice, I have lots of that. No worries.

Jim.

As a parent myself, I would say no. If I wasn't a parent I would likely be on the other end, in that it being her decision. I guess one of those things you could only understand when you have a child, that bond is stronger than just about anything else, and you will go to the end of the earth in order to protect them.

So knowing what I know now.... I personally think it is the right thing to do. Evie made her choice by stating she wants no further part in it, which is a good active decision on her behalf, but must obviously respect your decision as parents to want justice for an act committed against her, which I would as a parent myself.

Bloody well done to you and Kathy for this Jim.... and all the other parents for coming in with you. A job well done mate. Congratulations!

Congrats on your untiring efforts. Although I am not a parent I would say its our responsability to protect the children he might come in contact with. Disgusting that he can still be allowed to preach.
We had a big blow up in Newfoundland Canada with priests. the scale was huge. One good thing about prosicution, at least to my humble knowledge, is that they would then be a registered sex offender. then no more being around kids.

on another side, I can understand not wanting to be dragged through it. Again. Anyway to protect her picture or name I would use. If its a lesser charge, so what, they still have to register as sexual offender and cant hurt anyone else.

Murphy, you are speaking of the Mount Cashel Orphanage? I am a proud Newfoundlander. ;-) Just recently moved overseas as part of my retirement. My children are still in Newfoundland, excepting my daughter who lives with us currently.

Yes, my son, I am. It is such a small world. If that is where this happened, I think there are several govt funds now to help support the suffers from Mount Cashel

I proudly hail from the rock as well. Small village close to trinity bay. Moved to NB for docs and better technology.

Pressed reply too soon. Thank you Anthony for the compliments. Much appreciated and will tell Kathleen you think so too. She will be pleased. Agreed, there are some things one feels as a parent that are impossible to ignore. Thank you for the encouragement.

And. Received an email from Evie (I am currently away from home on business) which answers the question asked here. She is happy we wish to be involved. Takes it the right way, thankfully. Says it shows we care. For herself - she is anxious about it and needs time. But thanks us for being concerned. So. Feel far better hearing that. :-)

Thanks all.

Jim.