Yep no worries Lisa. If ever we have something as personal as this to share, we ask Evie's permission firstly. Fact is, too many know her and us and could put 2 and 2 together. So. She is always aware these threads exist.

Extremely well done for trying on your own. Quite extraordinary. Very brave I must say. Unfortunate your PTSD became worse. Though to be expected. Evie is having difficulties at the moment herself, and matters have barely started.

Fine points to make, thank you. Yes that was our thought as well, safety in numbers so to speak. Good to know such action would have helped you as well.

Glad to know you hate the word. As do I. Guilty of using it once in here. However. I won't again. Wouldn't like being called that myself.

Much appreciated for sharing Lisa.

Jim.

Ah. Good to know. Don't usually miss a post. Still getting old though. ;-)

Jim.

Nicolette asked me about your post, and I actually said to her that I doubt Jim would much such a mistake, without looking at it any further.... good to know I still have it!

Love you sweetheart..... sarcasm will get me in the shit no doubt.... I have to jump on this, because I am often more wrong than right when it comes to debate with the missus....

Anthony, your a braver man than I. Wouldn't dare correct the wife thusly. ;-)

Jim.

Hi Jim,

At first I thought I would stay away from this thread, as it is a bit triggering for me. But, I decided that I would like to add my two cents.

I reported the rapes (about) two or three years after they happened. (Since I was a minor when they occured, I have until I'm 35 to press charges...perhaps longer as the laws keep changing.) Anyway, I thought I was in a "good place" at that time. I was dealing with my issues, and I was even working as a rape crisis counselor at the same organization that had helped me not long before.

I worked with an attorney that was provided to by by the RCC, and we set up a date to file the report. I was told that I would be able to have whomever I wanted there for support, so I chose my good friend/fellow counselor as well as an RCC legal advocate. I was nervous, but at the same time I felt empowered and in control.

When I got to the police station, however, the detective took me to an interrigation room (just like the ones you see on Law and Order--you know, with the mirrored glass and everything), and my friend and the advocate were told that they could not stay in with me. I was so scared, and started to hyperventilate as the detective asked the most demeaning, victim-blaming questions while another (random) person took notes. When I finally left the police station (hours later), I felt like I had been run over by a truck.

That being said, I realize that this is not everyone's experience, and there was actually some good that came out of reporting--(it helped that I did so as I was stalked by my rapist for years after). But, I just want to confirm what some have said on this poast: Once you report/make a statement, things are out of your control. Even if one prosecutor says one thing, this doesn't mean that another prosecutor won't take the case and then do another.

Sorry, but I wanted to add something else.

I totally understand your frustration and anger; I would feel the same way if it were my child who had gone through this. BUT, acting out in violence or even saying that you would LIKE to act out in violence and hurt this perpetrator--(as sick and evil as he may be)--doesn't help the situation. When my brother found out about the rape, the first thing he did was buy a gun. I know he was angry, and I know he wanted to protect me. But instead of me focusing on how to get myself better, I had to worry about what my brother may do. I know that he was doing this because he felt helpless to do anything else, but it really just added to my anxiety.

I wish you and your family the best. I know this isn't easy; hang in there.

Nic

You too xoxox

You bet it will

Ain't that the truth . You do realise there will be severe consequences for you after this!!! I would have taken Jim's approach and shut my mouth!

Well Nic. Firstly, you are not a parent, correct? Right or wrong, there is a feeling for a child who has been harmed, difficult to describe to one who has no children. Very special feeling between a father and daughter especially. That is what I was expressing here.

Jim.

If it was my child, I would want some alone time in a room with the molesting prick.... just me though. The molester wouldn't be so happy after that....

Yep would think most parents feel thusly Anthony. Can't imagine not feeling that way to be honest. There is some relief too in talking about it.

Jim.