Hi there,

I'm looking for help. I have had PTSD for 7 years due to domestic violence and in particular a break in and knife attack, but i think the rest of the abuse has affected me too. I was diagnosed in 2005.

I have three children. I have been sleeping (or not) downstairs on the sofa for 7 years. Every sound i hear could be him. It is pure torture.

I was cured in august 2005 with rewind therapy. At the time i felt clear headed and i thought a miracle had just happened. I was actually sleeping upstairs in my bed. I went back to my studies and achived a 1st for that semester.

Then 3 months later the man in question (who was my lawyer for my divorce - and is still a lawyer even after a criminal conviction for violence against me) sent me threatening e-mails (my ex-husband gave him my address). The PTSD has been back ever since. My studies are basically down the drain. I am being constantly triggered because i have to see this man in court (contact order for my daughter) and give discriptions of what happened and he is just as verbally abusive towards me. The judge said I had no backbone -which was unhelpful to say the least - he obviously doesn't properly understand PTSD. I feel like jelly and not of this world, in denial during the court appearances and want to die in the days following court appearances. This just isn't the normal me. I was so capable before. Somewhere i still cling onto the old me.

I desperately need to find an Expert in PSTD in England in order to help me with all this. I feel i won't survive the next court session otherwise. My children are the most wonderful children, happy and sweet lovely beings. All effort i do have is to ensure they are doing ok. They don't deserve to loose their mum to PTSD.

Welcome and sorry to hear all that I was the victim of a knife attack as well.
the judge gave the defendant 9 years. I later found out at his parole hearing that he had 3 prior convictions for stabbing people starting in 1974. Nothing ever fair is it.

Hi Buzy,
I'm new here too. I feel you are in crisis right now, and through no fault of your own, won't be able to get out of it for a while or get a chance to manage it. In the meantime, you still have to function. While I am NOT a doctor or medical profession, I think you would be justified at this point to ask for some medications to help you cope with the extreme stress of your situation and allow you to function to do what you have to do (deal with the court, take care of your children). Of course, you don't want your kids to be left without you, so do whatever it takes to get on track ... meds, hire help if you can afford it, ASK for help from family and friends. That judge made you feel incompetent and that will make you do the exact opposite of what you need to do: get help. Notwithstanding your PTS, EVERY MOM needs help at some point. Don't feel like a failure if you need it now and reach out for it. If you cannot do it for yourself, do it for your kids and that may make it easier to take the first step. Good luck to youl.

Mick,
You got that right, things aren't fair. My step-son was murdered which started my PTSD symptoms again and the guy was given 4 years. If my husband did something to him when he got out, he most likely would have gotten life.
sunnydaze

Hi buzy, welcome to the forum. Contact a military veteran clinic, even non military can contact them, as they will be able to give you names of trauma experts for your area, as they will send their veterans to the very same people. You will still have to try a few, but its a place to start for finding a trauma specialist.