Death of a Season

Winter being the death of a season,
As autumn’s gone, death is the reason
For this life cycle’s culmination,
Ending another generation.

The earth lies in state, with colors dull.
Quiet of death has an eerie lull.
Even the sky is wearing clouds gray,
Mourning the earth as it passed away.

Now I must face winter of my soul,
Death of the person I used to know.
Being now aware of this world’s dearth,
Can there be any hope of rebirth?

As the earth awaits the coming spring,
Should I hope for changes time will bring?
Perhaps the person that died in me,
Will with the returning spring, be free.

cathy

Good Morning/Afternoon/Night, everyone!! I find it very therapeutic to post my feelings in this way. I wrote this one yesterday in five minutes, just off the top of my head. It's to my ex-girlfriend and now friend, April, and it's about my wife and my life... here it is:

What's up with April,
Is she happy or sad?
Is she in love with life,
or just feeling bad?

Does she still think about our friendship,
Does she still think about our past,
Does she remember our soundtrack,
It all went so fast,

Wouldn't it be cool,
Wouldn't it be a blast,
If we could still hang out,
like we did in the past,

Not as lovers,
Not as my girl,
But as my friend,
'Cause in this sad, twisted world,

God took my wife,
And keeps her above,
But when he took her from me,
He also took my love,

Because Lisa was my life,
She kept me strong,
I just wonder,
What I did wrong,

Although I have many friends,
My best friend is gone,
And without Lisa,
Life feels too long,

As I wait for the day,
When we meet again,
I just have to live my life,
and remember way back when,

She was here,
And I took her for granted,
Now, I'm lost,
Now I'm stranded,

Hold Me in Your Grace

Dear Potter, mold my life today,
Reforming all this lumpy clay.
I must yield myself just to You,
A willing vessel made brand new.

Dear Shepherd guide my rocky way,
Rescue me when I go astray.
And when my name you gently call,
Don’t let me from Your presence fall.

Dear Father, help me trust in You,
Submitting everything I do
To Your wisdom and great power.
Hold me in Your grace this hour.

cathy

gasping for breath
the kind that brings peace
holding my breath
for kindness and peace
so many hands outstretched
only wanting
my hands reach out too
only wanting
but i shrink back first
with haunting empathy
and painful sympathy
who am i to want the help
another so desperately needs?
dreams die like caterpillars
in a sealed Mason jar
desire deferred for too many years
believing against all odds
sounds much more noble
than it actually is

secret bitter roots
choke me as i live
they squeeze just hard enough
so that i never forget
the pain of belonging nowhere
of hatred, violence and being locked away
if you can call it that
i did not get out alive
but died a million deaths
each day
so this is going to take awhile
and who has the stomach for that?

pregnant pauses


it used to be
your pregnant pauses
that bruised me more
than you will ever know;
your silence was
your answer
to questions i can never
ask again
your fists
were your embrace
the nurturing of your nature
but in those pregnant pauses
i have died a thousand deaths-
the going price for an old soul.

Great, elvis! glad to see you posting here! it gets lonely in here!
cathy

LOL cookie...keep at it everyone

Winter Darkness

Velvet darkness creeps across the night sky,
Swallowing up every flickering star,
Snuffing out the moonlight with his dark veil.
And earth knows the darkness has come too far.

Why does this evil darkness hover o’er,
Smothering even sound as he goes forth?
Even night shadows run away to hide,
And the trees shiver in wind from the north.

Wind seems to make the second strike at earth,
Marching quickly, pushing all aside now,
Rudely snatching branches as he goes by.
It seems as if they’ve angered him somehow.

This darkness keeps a hold upon the earth
And wind slaps him around for quite some time.
Now snow begins to fall from the darkness,
By morning, snow has covered all the crime.

cathy

time stands still
and freezes me
with it,
an icy carnival;
unplugged,
unleashed
after-hours,
outside the gates,
the world swirls on,
while i'm locked in
this hellish funhouse,
where nothing is,
as it seems,
and objects in these damn mirrors
might be closer than they appear,
or farther,
or not even there at all,
i wish for what i want to see-
close my eyes and pray,
every new glimpse
terrifies
terrifies
terrifies
no matter what the light,
and every new day,
brings the same ****ed up night-
torpid and heavy,
besieged with frozen emotion
and hostile memories of
the days
when this slipshod
carnival
was real?


______________________________________________

war


my pain roars deep:
so effortlessly drowning me,
overtaking from the inside out,
howling through menacing shadows;
as a vicious predator stalking its prey,
or a portentous, screaming missile
aiming to mutilate my forsaken soul
the aftermath:
pastyearsracebyinseconds,
these..................minutes........pass........ ....like..........years,
this moment breeds de str uc t i on-
and i t-----e------b-----e
---------r-----m-----l------ at the sound
of tomorrow's emerging roar.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE DAGGER


The silent frenzy in my soul,
Is magnified
and these visits are too long
to the place they told me was not there;
playground of a child's depravity
But this Pheonix in my soul
won't settle for piles of ashes
as the final product of my life
It HAS to rise again,
My only question
for Jehovah Perazim is
When?

August 19, 1998

Sweet Tears

Sweet tears,
Do not lie to thee,
Sweet tears,
Have thou forsaken thee?

I wash the world,
with all your pain,
Paint the skies,
With your hurt and blame.

Sweet tears,
Open they arms for thee,
Sweet tears,
A vow of love for thee.

I swim the oceans,
without my breath,
Search the stars,
Without eternal rest.

Sweet tears,
will thou die for thee?
Sweet tears,
Please wed with thee!

I sit with monks,
for peace and sight,
I run with wolves,
for speed and might.

Sweet tears,
dost thou love thee?
Sweet tears,
thy heart bleeds for thee!

I create the streams,
with my tears of pain,
I ride with storms,
letting havoc reign.

Sweet tears,
Where hast thou hidden thee?
Sweet tears,
Thou art death to thee!

I drink the blood,
of innocence and sweet,
I crush the souls,
of hopeless and weak.

Sweet tears,
thy detest thee.
Sweet tears,
Eternal love for thee.






*am typing up all of my poetry (yes I have books of it that I have written) and thought you guys might enjoy this one.*
bec