Can’t Make a Silk Purse



What can I do, but scream in my head,
Cry in my heart, just wish I was dead?
But I am, you see…my life is not.
This battle is o’er before it’s fought.

I have no desire to live as now…
Such a need to go, no matter how.
Not fit to live, just sad, filthy trash
Scattered around in the muck and ash.

The cry from my heart has been muted.
By sin left to rot, growing putrid.
Who was I hoping to fool these years?
Can’t make a silk purse from a sow’s ears.

cathy

There once was a girl so little so sweet,
so innocent where her thoughts and dreams,
she never knew that he was bad, his intentions were not good
she thought the extra attention was good she never realized the price she paid,

now the little girl is bigger, not so innocent and sweet,
she realizes the price she paid for that extra attention
the nightmares the, flashbacks the price that she paid
if only for a second she would have some reprieve.

she knows a way to get a break, if only
it was socially acceptable, but not an issue now
she has a little girl of her own, to keep her safe somehow.
she knows that she will not let this happen to her
as easily as it happened to her

The past is the past many have said
yet to her she relives everyday
stuck in a cycle that she can not live with
a Battle rages on, life vs death.

what will happen to that poor little girl who is all grown up now
when all she can remember is horror and unrest
she needs a break that doesn't seem to come,
so warily, like a soldier she stumbles on.

I wondered what my life would be
If only I could set myself free.
I was distracted by a bit of time,
Held myself together, thought I was fine.
Then I crumbled rather fast,
Fell Into the arms of a very painful past.
Thought I could somehow get it together,
But it blew me away, just like a feather.
Tried my hardest
But then realized
That time and luck were not on my side.
My mind was to cluttered,
My body to worn.
The battle was futile,
The bad guys had won.

Another veiw

Sunshine gathers, flickering through the dark
It's brightness only makes me hide
Far below, deepest despair
I can only see in shades of grey.

The brightness of the day, so glaring
Abrasive and drowning, hurts my heart
THey don't see what I see, tainted
Just want to soar, fly and dive
Instead I fall, deeper darker lower.

I find you here my friend, I give you my hand
Know we aren't alone, our sadness,
melancholy ties us close, bonds unbreakable
Distant support, words,
All I can give.

A day goes by with so much hurt
a life is lived with so much dirt
I secret life kept in the dark,
however bad its left its mark.

Who am I you might ask
no one special, all you will see is my mask,
is life worth while with what I know,
some say with work your emotion stability will grow.

So much guilt and so much greed,
a double life that I ust lead,
a smile a wave to make it right
when deep inside my very exsistance is a fight.

To many nights I wish I were dead
the demons and devils dance in my head,
take me oh lord I'm ready to go,
but I fear that i'll continue feeling this low.

this really isnt a poem but I call it TRUTH
TRUTH
scared,
alone,
regected,
smoothered,
betrayed,
rock bottom,
friends,
desire of life,
support ,
suggestion,
assistance,
regaining independance
still scarerd,
still guilty
still dark, still empty.

Hope,
prayer,
support,
friend, reason for life,
still scared and scared
never changes,
always happens,
somehow always survives.

Psalm 116:15
Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints.


Homecoming

Death is but a homecoming,
A reunion with the LORD,
The great “I AM”, Almighty,
The Cornerstone, the Word.

To leave behind every care
And receive a robe and crown.
There praise His name forever
Where heartache will not be found.

I want to be found faithful,
In Heaven I will be pure.
No more just a filthy rag,
No more sin must I endure.

In Heaven He waits for me,
His loving arms will embrace.
I’ll hear Him say, “you’re home child.”
“It’s over, you’ve won the race.”



cathy

Somehow, wherever I go I am odd to say the least.
The person deep inside of me comes out just like a beast.
My skin’s stripped off and all that’s left is a naked soul.
Am I a salad of putrid fruit all piled up in a bowl?
No one wants the me I am to enter in their eyes.
Quiet, muffled by my pain no one to hear my cries.
Ugly are the secrets held that no one cares to hear.
Broadened are the scars I bear as I retreat in fear.
Am I a pushy calf to suck away at people’s comfort?
Where do I run from who I am and what’s my last resort.
Marilyn S.

Cathy ,
Thanks for Paslm 116 It means alot to me even if others dont get it I do in my Heart--Amber

Cathy, I conter with Paslm 55 1-7
Listen to my Prayer O God.
do not ignore my cry for help!
Please listen and answer me,
for I am overwhelmed by my troubles.

My enimesshout at me,
makingloudand wicked threats.
They bring trouble down on me
and angrily hunt me down.

My heart poundsin my chest.
the terror of death assualts me.
Fear and trembling overwhelm me.
and I cant stop shaking

Oh that I had wings like a dove:
then I would fly away and rest!
I would fly far away
to the quiet of the wildernes
How quickly I wouod escape-
far from this wild storm of hatred

16-19
But I will call on God
and the lord will rescue me.
Morning noon and night
I cry out in my distress
and the lord hears my voice

He ransoms me and keeps me safe
from the battle wagged against me.
though mant ]y will oppose me

God who has ruled forever will hear and humble them.