On a particular day,
The sun may be setting,
And my own world is shadowing
Shadowing my little soul
Slowly crippling my only hope

I can feel the wind blows
Chilling me deep down beneath
Shattering my confidence and strength
I know it is coming,
When the real world is closing,
I hear nothing and see nothing,
Except my sweat and my heavy breathing.

The wind blows again,
Blowing away my only hope,
Sending another tremor through my spine,
It’s getting darker and colder now,
Forcing me to hug myself harder,
Holding myself up, unwilling to be battered,
Yet I am losing my senses and I fear my presence
Again I doubted my own courage and strength
Ever to protect myself then or now
To warn me of danger
To ever keep myself sound and safe.

I hate my weak-self, being so lonely and lost,
Feeling so trapped with this pain inside
I struggled hard to set myself free
From this hurt inflicted in the past
I longed to be free from these hatred and imaginary fear
I really wish I never had to hide, bearing this shame and guilt
I wish I could face and tell the world loud
How I never wish to be ripped off my confidence, dignity and pride.

wow, you made me cry midnite. so honest and so hard to deal with. i hope you feel better.

Cookie,

I'm sorry cookie, I didn't intend to make you or anyone cry.

I'm ok. I don't always get a bad day now. I’m learning, accepting and adapting. It used to be a long silent path traveled. A tough battle but I’ll face it well. I will not let it control my life anymore.

The Song You Wrote on My Heart

Rock my soul, LORD
In the warmth of Your love
Comfort me now
With Your peace from above.

Heal the memories
Of past hurt in my mind
Restore me please
And Your peace I will find.

I want to be
Free from the pain I feel
So I can be
With Your love, able to heal.

Help me to be
Conscious now of Your will
And all of my life
I'll be serving You still.

Then I can sing
The song you wrote on my heart
In Your concert of love
I'll willingly sing my part.

wow...great job everyone...keep it going

I believe in the power of obscured shadows. Places to hide, to be a lesser form of myself. Happiness, crass and attitude makes me presentable to you and to certain levels inside of me. Not myself. I do not know myself. My self is a lonely package yearning to have substance and meaning. I don’t want you to know the power of Fear that flows over and through me. I am a hungered soul. Haunted by past years, multiple shadows converging into memories lain at crooked crosses beneath the relentless grip of dreams. And I am six, seven. I am beaten, molested, best forgotten. Closets: safe sanctuary to hide from the dim light peering beneath the door and his face leering above me. I don’t pray for freedom anymore. I don’t pray for anything anymore. Except to not to hurt others. And so I retreat like a vampire from the rising sun, like a child beneath the shadow of a risen chair. Waiting for release. Come peace in whatever form you chose. Into Your hands I commend my spirit.

New Hope

I come hopeless and empty LORD
Reveal the truth through Your Word.
Fill me, a useless vessel now,
With praise to lift Your name, somehow.

Pour Your Spirit into my life.
Help me conquer the pain and strife.
This deep-set sadness, peel away.
Rekindle holiness in me today.

Replace the struggle in my heart,
Giving hope a place to start.
I'll overflow, Your love to share
With hurting people everywhere.

don't mean to hog the site, guys--come on post some more.
this is a poem i wrote for my daughter who was just married last may.

Elizabeth

A beautiful spirit of love and grace
Lights up your heart as well as your face...
Those dark brown eyes can sparkle and shine,
It seems but a dream that you could be mine.

Tender and delicate you became,
Beauty within and without, the same.
A young girl with a song in your heart.
Surrendered to God, you’ll do your part.

A young lady next, strong and beautiful,
Giving, loving, honest and dutiful.
Away from home--then falling in love,
Finding a young man sent from above.

Into a Godly woman you grew,
With an humble way and love so true.
I miss you so, my precious daughter,
But now, letting you go is an honor.

mommy

Memory

My heart calls, bleeding broken
you broke my trust, my lost innocent
why hurt me more? have I not suffered enough?
Do I need to be punished for something I didn't do.

My body was there, my mind was not
my soul cried out, a pain ne'er forgot
I want to forget you brother, I want to but heal
I can't forgive you, I'm just not strong enough.

The words stay unspoken, my tongue mute
Even now I will protect you brother
Even now I keep that bitter past safe
Even now while I long to hate.

I can't forgive you twin
I can't let the past go
Locked behind walls, hidden beneath
The gossamer silk of my mind.

I've been reading the poems posted here (great ones, BTW) and dug out some of my old poems to read. This was written about my time before I met my husband. But I thought it might be a bit appropriate.
***********************************

Walking In My Dark Woods Had Brought About The Realization That My Existence Was In Peril. The Ashes Of My Pride Lay Scattered To The Winds.

The Men Who Had Used My Soul For A Punching Bag Stood Off Chuckling Together Under The Trees.

What Was Left Of The Respect I Had For Myself Was Put Into A Small Box, Neatly Tied With Ribbon, And Placed Onto The Ground.

That I Was Alive Could Be Told By The Beating Heart And Filling Lungs. No Other Register Of Being Was Found.

My Worth Lay Shattered In The Grass. Being Unable And Unwilling To Bend To Gather It Up, I Passed By.

Through The Murky Branches, I Saw That The Path Was Leaving The Timbered Darkness. There Were Two Questions.

Ought The Remains Of Myself Be Left Behind Or Does Necessity Dictate The Trek Back To Reclaim My Damaged Self

I Turned Back.