Mary’s Heart

In the small town of Bethlehem,
Crowded because of the census,
Mary gave birth to the Holy One
Who left His throne just to save us.

Those things she pondered in her heart
Were so wonderful to hold there…
That this Babe was the Messiah,
The message she could not yet share.

Mary’s heart must have been troubled,
As she loved this little one so,
Knowing He was not hers for long,
This Great King where cattle low.

As the angel announced His birth,
Telling poor shepherds the story…
Then bursting forth in the night sky,
Multitudes sang of His glory.

The shepherds came in a hurry,
Desiring their Savior to see…
A wonderful confirmation
That He was the Babe on her knee.

Being tired and tense
It never relents.
Being misunderstood
I'd explain, if I could.
A life sentence; no parole
No escape for a tortured soul.
Not my fault
Yet I get a nightly assault.
Feeling pain and despair
Sleep is a nightmare
Feeling distant and numb
It's no fun.

hey piglet! great to see you posting here! good poem!

nice poem piglet, keep it up

This needs a bit of a backstory. My mom left the house one night, drove to the church where my dad proposed to her, and shot herself. She was a deeply (deeply) religious person so it was shocking in several ways. This was written roughly ten years after her suicide. I was trying to, basically, take what I knew of her and guess at what might have been going through her head at the time - confusion? From my perspective, I remember that night very well, but I always wondered what was going on at the church - in her head. So this was just a guess. Sorry for any formatting issues - I had to make some changes on the fly.



The moon is in my eyes and I am alone
in the darkness which presses in around me.
I’m so cold and afraid of my heart.
What does it want from me?
Life? I no longer have life to give it.
I’m going to set everyone free;
my husband – to grow as he needs to grow
without me there to take his strength.
My children – to live and be healthy, without
me there to corrupt their innocence of the world.
I’m afraid and alone … the moon … it watches
all that takes place under it.
Are you going to watch me, Moon?
Can you tell them I love them and that
I’m sorry things went so wrong?
Will you tell them for me?
Please forgive me my father.
I’m trying to make things right.
This is the only way I know.
Please be with them, Father.
Please protect them from the pain.
… The moon is so bright tonight …
I wish the moon was company
enough to give me peace.
Father? Where are you my father?
Can you forgive me for what I’m about to do?
Will you welcome me home?
Please forgive me, Father.
Please, don’t forget the lives I am leaving behind.
I can no longer take care of them for I can
no longer take care of myself.

… The moon is high now …
I am in your holy place for this is where
I found the most joy, the most peace.
What happened, Father?
Why am I so alone in the night?
Give the moon a voice to speak to me, to let me
know it will be all right. Will it, Father?
Even if it’s not true would you please tell me anyway?

… The moon fills my eyes as I lie down ...
The ground is cold and so is my heart.
The sky is dark and so is my soul.
I’m coming, Father, if you will still have me.
I don’t mean to throw away this gift but
I don’t know what else to do.
And so, my Father, if you won’t forgive me,
I understand …
I could never forgive myself, either.
Just protect my family, dear God.
If I must be punished, so be it, but protect them.
I’m so sorry, Father.

… The moon is full, yet it looks so empty …
I’m sorry for you, Moon. You hide your pain so well.
I played that game for a long time, too; I know the rules.
Show people only what they want to see –
a light, a beacon in the night.
Has anyone ever thanked you for
giving them your light?
May God protect you and fill you better
than my own heart was filled.
Watch over my family, Moon.
Light their way in the darkness.
Protect their sleep with your presence.
My own eyes are filled with your light.
Moonlight washes over me but will not cleanse me.
Remember me, Moon, when all the world has forgotten.
Remember a weak woman who lay beneath
you on a cold winter night.
Remember her words … remember her pain.
And shine a little while longer because it feels
as though the night is pressing in too close.
Shine just a little while longer and watch
over me until I sleep –
for I fear the darkness almost as much
as much as I fear life.
Thank you, Moon.
I’m sorry, Father.

I always called this 'Battle' (could be called Hope for Someday, I suppose)


When the song of morning broke into my life
I realized how deep the shadows were around me
I woke to a chance I never knew
A hope, a promise, a love
A reason, a mystery, an answer to my hidden fear
A beginning again in youth, despite summers gone

Cool winds lift my spirit off this troubled rock
And return again strong, light as a dream just born
Time stands ever still in that moment of awakening
Waters track furrows of grief across war-torn fields of battle
Though wounded, this warrior rises to salute the dawn
Marking an end to the night-fears, now alone in troubled silence

Tears of heaven mix with a soldier's grief of life,
Of love held then lost in a momentary conflict
Longing for rest outside the guilt and shame of loss
Then a flutter behind the armored breast stirs life inside anew
Hope rises, unbidden by this warrior's silenced soul
Golden veins of fire sear the earth, reflect the pattern of the sun

Wrapped in silken wings, a breath, a balm of mercy flows, fills
Releasing a mournful heart to song, a broken soul to triumph
Fused from promise, a heart now mine, a joy complete
That now gentle fire settles over these battle-weary shoulders
Giving rest, bringing freedom to the heart of this newborn babe
This tender soul rising to burn brightly from Heaven's star filled host

poems for the new year, y'all put up with me



New Year Grown

New Year skips along this way,
Waiting for his turn to play.
This Year shuffles slowly by,
Heaving such a heavy sigh.

He spies New Year drawing near,
Thinking of his own new year…
How people loved him at first,
Now they think he is the worst.

How everyone made such plans,
And welcomed him in advance.
Then he grew a couple months,
All forgetting vows made once,

Statistics began to mount,
Death and war, too much to count.
A stumble there, misstep here,
Youth seeming to disappear.


Some time in June, knowing sure
He had the same to endure.
People lost respect for him,
Saying he’s the worst that’s been.

And, as New Year came to stay,
This Year bowed his head to pray.
Then, as he joined Years Ago,
This Year left his time of woe.

Bless This New Year

Dear LORD, please bless this new year.
Renew my heart once again.
Remind me of my task here…
To share Your love with all men.

Help me prepare every day
By giving time to Your Word,
Heeding what You have to say,
And practicing what I’ve heard.

I will use the time that’s best
To honor and worship You,
As within Your love, I rest,
Where You will my heart renew.

If this is the year You choose,
Coming back for me one day,
Take time left of mine to use,
As in Your Will I shall stay.

Memories?

Memory trying to surface now.
I’ve got to keep it down somehow.
Still struggling to distract myself
To keep memories on the shelf.

I know tonight, when all alone,
My mind will surely start to roam.
Cleaning, scrubbing, working too hard
Will help me to keep up my guard.

Why does this one disturb me so?
And how in the world do I know?
My heart is beating hard and fast,
How long will all this panic last?

This poem is very simple, but in a moment of loosened thought, it poured out so easily. I wrote it out of the guilt I felt for hurting my husband and child with the words that I said some years ago. It also acts as a reminder. Once they're out there, there is no gettin' those words to disappear, as if they'd never been said. I'm writing this out of memory, as I don't have the words in front of me...I wrote this some 3 years ago.

Unsaying Words Said

Usaying words said
Like undying a rose dead
Unsinging a song sung
Unringing a bell rung
Unsinking a ship sunk
Unthinking a thought thunk
Unflowing a rivers flow
Unknowing what we know

As the moon cannot outshine the sun, unsaying words said cannot be done.