I just wanted to say hello...i have been in such a buzy stressful time and I missed people here but my personal life now has more physical support and if I stay strong i will be ok. I am so thankful right now to feel safe and comfortable...have been on high alert for about 2 full months....I think this is the first time I have truly felt safe again in a long time. I am so glad I feel a bit more settled.

Pand,

Glad you survived.

Congrats on feeling save and comfortable.

Glad you're back and things are a bit better, Pand.

Good to see you back, do you want to talk about it?

I do......crazy frigging situation and I just feel sick about things.

I will try and explain this...the cousin I stayed with is 21, her boyfriend a really nice guy, 22. They are both good hearted people but there was bad drugs there.....UUUGGGHHHH just when I thought it could not get worse.

We had a 6 month old and and 2 year old ( as well as babysitting her neice, 2 and a half) with my son who is 12 with aspergers. I watched them stay awake for days. Her personality (not with me as much) butwith her boyfriend was like the devil was in her..I just mean she actually scared me in the way ha i was so worried. I have big open sores on my head and my hair is falling out in patches. Her boyfriend one night thought we were talking about him..totally paranoid and he smashed the laptop...I was sick with worry and fear. I took a place that has much needed work and stairs but I needed to get out of there for my own sanity. I want them to get help...now. We had discussions when they were in a good frame of mind about how horrible and terrible these drugs were making them and how the kids deserved better.

I was letting them drive my car ( new car) because well...I needed help and I wanted hem to keep helping and i spent way too much money...miscalculated and then had to borrow money from my mother and I had given them my bank card ( the drugs were about 100.00 every 4 days) UUUGGHHH......They need to stop!!!!!!!!

Then when I moved...they had my car....no insurance...and I just needed to get here and I wasn't going to let them use it again....they were supposed to be home on sat night....they came home on sunday...by that time i was hysterical and my Mom got here on sunday and flipped right out!!!!! Screaming at me about them...I told...My Mom does not want to have anything to do with this cousin now or her Mom and that is the only sibling of 12 that she speaks too...I feel so bad but I thought they were in an accident with my car...with the babies and I told when i swore on my fathers grave that I wouldn't tell...I had to tell...I had to tell!!!! UUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!

So...now...I can't just leave her.....she needs help not to be thrown away.....

My cousins boyfriend is pissed...I hope one day if they in fact stop the drugs because I will make sure those babies are ok....I have to....I hope that they stop and if something good comes out of a crazy situation that they will see one day that I savd there lives.She told me...they are stopping as she is afraid that they will take her kids.....I just feel sick about the whole situation.

Just writing....my legs are shaking...this situation really upset me...and
her boyfriend said "I knew we couldn't trust her...meaning me" Well...I can't watch that.....the baby had bad diaper rash when I got there and now it is gone. The two year old was taking every bowel movement and smearing it (but he was alone in his room) she had the potty's out yesterday. Thank goodness...I saw them stay awake....I heard her say out loud..I should never have had kids....two different personalities..he scared me....Geez..what a crazy situation......

Well that definitely sounds like one crazy situation. Those poor kids.