Wendy,

I sent you an e-mail Monday night that explained everything. I am not going to "defend" myself here, to anyone, because other forum members were not privy to certain conversations and information that we shared. If you want to discuss this further, I would be more than happy to do so off the forum.

Nic

Nic,

I didn't expect you, nor did I want you to *DEFEND* yourself... Call me ignorant, but I did expect an apology. Apparently you feel that you have done nothing wrong, so you don't feel an apology is appropriate. So I guess that this absolves you from any responsibility. Sorry it just doesn't cut it for me. As far as our private conversations.........Yes I will admit I have said things to you concerning suicide, suicide ideation, my depression, and my situation. We last spoke on Sat, yes I was depressed but talked to you about your weekend and gave you encouragement with taking your test, and wished you well. On Monday night you decided to call the police based on what I had written in my diary. Did you even stop to THINK that MOTHER'S DAY may have been a HUGE trigger for me?? Something really hard to get through, something very difficult????


I didn't get your message, or your email as I had my phone shut off, and was NOT online. I ASKED that NO ONE CALL ME or CONTACT me. You crossed that boundary, and then went even further by calling the police, and causing me a ton of shit. I got your message when the cops were here, and I asked if I could make a phone call. THAT'S when I called you and told you to NEVER CALL ME AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

I was actually sectioned 12 in the E.D until someone could pick me up.

So I guess I should take some responsibility for some of this. I apology if I have upset anyone. I did say this in my diary, thought I was very clear, apparently I wasn't.

At least I have the balls to apologize, and take responsibility for my actions.

I'm sorry for the things you had to go through Monday night. When I called, I downplayed the situation as much as possible, and asked if someone could go check on you to see how you were doing, as I lived too far away to do so. However, (as you figured), I am not going to appologize for making the call. Like you said, you were on the precipice of suicide. I knew Mother's Day would be very difficult for you, and that, combined with what you had been saying lately, combined with your personal history, combined with you suddenly wanting no contact, the red flags were waving high, and I was very afraid that you may have acted upon these thoughts.

Like I said in my e-mail, I value our friendship, but I value your life even more. I can live with losing you as a friend--(I will be sad, of course)--but I cannot live with losing YOU.

Again, I would be more than happy to discuss this further off the forum.

Nic

i AM SO GLAD TO KNOW YOU ARE SAFE.

i AM SORRY IF I POSTED IN THE WRONG PLACE. i THOUGHT..MAYBE SOMEONE KNEW AND i WAS WORRIED AND DIDN`T WANT TO PRIVATELY EMAIL AS YOU SAID NOT TO. OOPS...sorry...caps

i am sorry it ended up here....i really just was worried she... I know...my problem, not yours and I knew it was mothers day and I thought you were just so sad lately. Sorry......someone called you and you had to go to the er..........I hope things get better soon. It I have done things, anything to offend you...I am sooosorry.
pandora

May I point out that no name was used so until all the "personal" arguments came into this thread people like myself, who have no access to the PTSD Members Diaries, would have been left with speculation.

Secondly, the thread became somewhat interesting talking about dealing with someone who was suicidal which I found beneficial.

It only became about you (Wendy) to others when you put your name on it. I do however appreciate the consequence of what others actions have caused you and for that I am sorry.

Wendy, the post as an administrative aspect was fine, as Nicolette mentioned above, it had no names. You as the person in question obviously only named yourself... all other members kept names out of the equation and it was a discussion, not just specific to you. It was a question about a member, obviously yourself now you outed yourself, though turned to a general discussion. You are the only person who released your own private details to the public, no other member. So from an editorial point of view, the thread is just fine and as you outed yourself, you are entitled to do that... providing no other member does so.

Wendy, I agree with you and I did try and tell other members to stay out of it, however; this is also what happens when members go against the exact advice given of this forum in the first place... being to not change things off the forum so they are so personal and that now others interfere in your life, instead of respecting your own adult boundaries. You have every right to be pissed if you asked me... though again, from an editorial viewpoint, the thread is secure and fine until you outed yourself. For those few who knew who it was in question, none mentioned your name publicly, only privately.

Maybe people may learn from this and stay out of others personal lives, even when they are talking about wanting to die... It is healthy to talk about suicidal ideation, wanting to die, etc... when you feel that way. It is not healthy to interfere in anothers life when that person is still making decisions for themselves and at the end of the day, only they can decide whether they want to come out of the misery or not.

I did want to say that when I first read this thread I sent a PM to Pandora (as I didn't want to share my thoughts publicly at that point) and told Anthony.

Personally, I felt that everyone should leave you alone Wendy as asked and I told Pandora that my thoughts were she should respect the wishes of the person (as I did not know it was you).

My belief is that if someone wants to kill themselves they will do so no matter what as I have seen it first hand so its best not to get involved in a situation with a cyber friend. A lot of what Tammy said made sense. If the shoe was on the other foot and it was someone close to me, well, I guess that may change my actions and emotions may overrule all manner of logic.

It sounds like what started out as good intentions has turned into somewhat of a mess. My place is not to judge the actions of others but like Anthony has said, there is something to learn out of this situation.

For future, the words (not verbatim as from memory) which Tammy said will stay in my mind..... in that if someone wants to kill themselves they will. So, other than getting them professional help, it is best to stay at arms length so you don't end up with the guilt if they do end their life. Well, that's what I thought Tammy was trying to say.

Anthony & Nicolette,

Thanks for the explanation, I appreciate it. I was under the assumption that ANY and ALL info in the PTSD only area was OFF LIMITS and not to be taken out of there. Whether a name was used or not.

I still feel very violated and very unsure of ever posting anything I consider private in my diary for fear that it would be used against me. Not a very pleasant thought.

You're right Anthony.....People should just mind their own business. There are things that I know about member here, and I am sure that they wouldn't want it put out there for the public to know. Some people are just way to immature to understand boundaries. This is so unfortunate, because I was under the impression that this board was all about boundaries. I guess I was wrong.

Thanks again Anthony.....

Quote from She Cat:
"There are things that I know about member here, and I am sure that they wouldn't want it put out there for the public to know."

Um...trying to get someone help during a crisis and telling the world about someone's personal history with the intent to be malicious are two very different things. While I hope you have no plans to do that, Wendy, just the fact that you made this statement deeply troubles me.

And as for eveyone else, you all do not know what was said, and when, so I would ask that you not comment on this particular situation which is between me and Wendy. Thank you.