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| | Notices | Welcome to PTSD Forum. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a life threatening, debilitating disorder that can break down a sufferer’s body through anxiety and stress. Further it poses a significant suicide risk resulting from the brains neurological imbalance and chemical depression. Sufferers often live in denial, thus this community is aimed at helping PTSD sufferers help themselves through others experiences, guidance and education. We are here for the sufferer, spouse and families surrounding PTSD. Spouses and family are too often forgotten in this equation, and often they receive all the worst that PTSD has to offer. If you're involved in any way with PTSD, get registered and help yourself now. Non-active members will eventually be deleted. If you are not a sufferer, carer or someone within the mental health industry, and active, then there is little reason for you to be a member of this forum. Non-active members with zero posts are deleted periodically during the year. |  | | 
28-05-2008, 03:50 AM
| | | | Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladybug08  I may be wrong, but I am being honest...her family sees you as her hero, but she needs to learn coping skills. | Hi-
I'm not sure if "hero" is the right word, but they do think that all she needed was someone genuine and honest. You are correct about coping; we had a nice long talk this weekend about it and I think she realizes that she needs to handle things differently. The next day we talked some more, and she told me, "everything you said is true" - meaning that she's starting to realize that she doesn't have to be on the defensive so often or so quickly. I had told her it's not about who's right or wrong, it's about realizing that she does hear things differently from how they're presented.
My own father riddled me with guilt and for years I took things too personally, and reacted as though the person was insinuating something rather than just commenting. I learned how to react better and not be on the defensive, and it took a while but I've learned. We never get rid of all of it, but we can learn to control it better.
thanks...  |
28-05-2008, 04:04 AM
| | | | Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pandora I think your girlfriend is very lucky to have found a man that is as insightful and understanding as you are.....There should be more men as understanding as you are.....I just haven't found one yet......I think if you both work together....that is great. Communication is key IMO. | thanks, that's nice of you to say. We had a great weekend together, I think it helped immensely that I told her how I was feeling about how she handles things sometimes. She's understandably trying to get beyond what has happened in the past with guys who weren't very sincere. She wasn't feeling well and couldn't understand why I stayed with her while she was resting. She said she wasn't used to it, and I jokingly told her, "well, the only way to get me to stop caring for you is to dump me". It broke my heart when she cried and told me no one has ever done this for her. Why do I still love her? That's one reason why.... |
29-05-2008, 06:38 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Alabama, USA
Posts: 60
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unbroken I'm not sure if "hero" is the right word, but they do think that all she needed was someone genuine and honest. You are correct about coping; we had a nice long talk this weekend about it and I think she realizes that she needs to handle things differently. The next day we talked some more, and she told me, "everything you said is true" - meaning that she's starting to realize that she doesn't have to be on the defensive so often or so quickly. I had told her it's not about who's right or wrong, it's about realizing that she does hear things differently from how they're presented.
My own father riddled me with guilt and for years I took things too personally, and reacted as though the person was insinuating something rather than just commenting. I learned how to react better and not be on the defensive, and it took a while but I've learned. We never get rid of all of it, but we can learn to control it better. |
Could you be co-dependent? Do you feel like that you are the only one who can fix her?
Last edited by Nicolette; 29-05-2008 at 06:49 PM.
Reason: Shortened quote..please try to quote only relevant text thanks
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30-05-2008, 12:23 AM
| | | | Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladybug08 Could you be co-dependent? Do you feel like that you are the only one who can fix her? | No, I don't think I can fix her. She has to and wants to do that on her own, and I'm willing to stand by her and support her. She's not just my girlfriend, she is also my best friend, and I do know when to be a friend...that's no different from any other relationship I've been in.
She has a lot of qualities I truly love about her, and I believe in her. I don't want to give up on her just yet because it's still a new relationship and we still have a lot to learn about each other. The important thing is that we both want this to last, not just one of us, and we're both making an effort to communcate better. |
31-05-2008, 06:28 PM
| | | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Alabama, USA
Posts: 60
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Another question...do you think that her family is driving her crazy?
Last edited by Nicolette; 01-06-2008 at 11:26 AM.
Reason: No need to quote entire thread, especially when replying directly after a post
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02-06-2008, 04:43 AM
| | | | Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 61
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I don't know. And right now I don't know how I feel.
This will be my last post, thanks for everything. | | Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes |  Linear Mode | 
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