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| | Notices | Welcome to PTSD Forum. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a life threatening, debilitating disorder that can break down a sufferer’s body through anxiety and stress. Further it poses a significant suicide risk resulting from the brains neurological imbalance and chemical depression. Sufferers often live in denial, thus this community is aimed at helping PTSD sufferers help themselves through others experiences, guidance and education. We are here for the sufferer, spouse and families surrounding PTSD. Spouses and family are too often forgotten in this equation, and often they receive all the worst that PTSD has to offer. If you're involved in any way with PTSD, get registered and help yourself now. Non-active members will eventually be deleted. If you are not a sufferer, carer or someone within the mental health industry, and active, then there is little reason for you to be a member of this forum. Non-active members with zero posts are deleted periodically during the year. |  | | 
29-05-2008, 12:42 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 491
| | Well, these were said before I had PTSD, but they were about the trauma.
1. "I can't believe that would happen in ______.
(What, are some towns immune to certain shit?)
2. "You should have taken a self-defense course."
(I had taken one...actually three...sorry, didn't work for me)
3. "But how could he rape you if he had no weapon?"
(Um...quick physics lesson: I was 85 lbs. and he was 220. Any questions?)
4. "Was there any part of it that you liked?"
(Hmm...what was better, having my head slam against a wall or not being able to walk afterwards? Eanie meanie minie mo...)
5. "But you were a cheerleader; you kind of have to figure something would happen when you wear those little uniforms."
(Right...okay...please hold my pon-poms while I go get raped. Thanks.)
Oh, there are so many more. It amazes me the shit people will think and say. | 
29-05-2008, 01:23 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Tampa, Florida
Posts: 2,208
| | Nic...I agree with you. Stupidity tends to run rampant. Especially when people think they HAVE to say something.
Personal favs:
'If you just concentrate on happy thoughts that would help you get through this.' Sure...while curled up in a ball on the floor rocking back and forth and crying uncontrollably happy thoughts were first on my list! *rolling eyes*
'I just can't deal with what you're going through.' Gee...if you think it's tough on your end, don't even bother coming over to mine!
'When the PTSD is out of your life I can be your friend again.' See ya!
And my personal, all-time favorite:
'Just snap out of it. I've had bad things happen in my life and you don't see me giving in to it.' Go **** yourself!
Lisa | 
29-05-2008, 01:25 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Tampa, Florida
Posts: 2,208
| | Fighting Lily...thanks for starting this post. Being able to respond to the stupid, sometimes cruel things that come our way (even if it's only in a post) is a very needed thing for a lot of us.
Lisa | 
29-05-2008, 02:26 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,009
| | "It was ____ years ago!"
"You're fine now, focus on that."
"I thought you dealt with that."
"It could have been worse." That one, by far, is one of my most hated. At what point have I been hurt enough for my pain to matter? | 
29-05-2008, 02:33 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: New Mexico, USA
Posts: 896
| | Oh gosh, this is a great thread. I have heard every single one of these. They are painful, but I do like the humorous replies. | 
29-05-2008, 02:43 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: USA
Posts: 260
| | Wow, I too have heard "get on with your life, put it in the past, it was so long ago". If, "I could put it in my past do you think I chose to live like this" is my answer.
I do not like myself when I go through set backs. Does anyone that doesn't like themselves chose to think that way? Not, I. I chose to giggle, laugh and tell jokes but when I get down nothing happy comes to mind. I want to be alive. I want to enjoy my life with my family and grandson whom I adore.
People are just down right out stupid. They do not think. I suppose if it was them they would be worse than ourselves and want self-pity. Nobody knows until they have been there but again everyone deals with this kind of stuff different. Good thread!
sunnydaze | 
29-05-2008, 02:51 PM
|  | | | Join Date: May 2008 Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 110
| | Thank you everyone. Hopefully some Carers will stumble across this thread.
Keep adding more no-nos as you experience them. Get them off your chest when needed. | 
29-05-2008, 04:13 PM
|  | | | Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 210
| | "It was in the past, get over yourself".
Uh huh, don't you think if it was easy to get over I would have already done so?
I'm sure there's others but that's all I can think of at the moment. | 
29-05-2008, 05:41 PM
| | | | Join Date: May 2008 Location: usa
Posts: 188
| | Are you sure? I told my friend about a flashback I had and that was the response: "are you sure?" It was so incredibly stupid I was shocked my husband wasn't saying it. He has officially said every phrase on this post. My therapist finally told him to zip his mouth and show his support with silence. It's actually working very well. | 
29-05-2008, 09:24 PM
| | | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 75
| | "You're not even trying to help yourself!"
So stopping drinking,drugs, promiscuous and risky behaviour, as well as making sure i eat 3 decent meals a day and actually showering and doing mundane things like brushing my teeth and actually seeing a good counsellor and actually opening up to them isn't helping myself?! So what else do you suggest i do?!
I've also heard pretty much every other thing said in this thread, in particular, "Just get over it" and "Just stop thinking about it"...yeh like i actually choose and enjoy feeling like/seeing that i'm being raped or molested by my mum's boyfriend! And waking up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat and shaking from nightmares.
Geez some people are just so clueless! | | Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes | Linear Mode |
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