"You need to focus on the present"
That's easy for you to say. Try focusing on the present, when Most Traumatic Home Videos is constantly playing in your mind. There is no Eject button.

"You shouldn't let yourself get so stressed out"
Oh, so it's lack of self-control that causes me to be a stress case, not the endless barrage of stressful events and memories.

"That sounds like something your mother would say."
Don't EVER compare me to her. That is just about the worst insult anybody could ever say to me.

"You need to exercise more."
You try exercising, when you feel as if you're wearing concrete boots and leaden mittens.


I, too, have heard all of these, and more.
I realize that it must be frustrating for others to deal with someone who has PTSD, when they don't understand.
That's what I try to remind myself, THEY DON'T HAVE A CLUE!
How fortunate for them, that they don't have to live in this Hell.
Now, if they'd only shut their pie holes, and stop giving advice on something they know nothing about.

Amen, sister! Amen.

How about this one:

"Really? You have PTSD? You seem so normal..."
I think they thought this comment was a compliment. It reminded me how abnormal I can be. I was immediately self critical. What would have been better is " Really? You have PTSD? I never knew..."

I seem normal? Wow, I guess my cover is not yet blown. Either that or PTSD is so widespread that -you- seem strange. Now, here's the part where you show me some compassion. Try it.

I think I will add that to my arsenal of comebacks and smart-ass retorts.

I love smartass retorts. They fly right over the heads of some people who are not bright enough to have compassion for others.

My personal favorite is "Just let it go." As if I were holding onto it on purpose... because, really, I don't have anything better to do than try to keep the nightmares and black thoughts and images out of my mind. And how, EXACTLY, am I supposed to let go of something I never wanted? I'm not holding onto it- it's stuck to me. red

Law Dog
You hit the head of the nail. I was peace officer for 30 years, the last five of which were a living hell. It still amazes me that I did not do a last 10-7 in the car. Finally I just retired because I saw MYSELF as a wuss unable to take it, you kow all the names. But the suffering got worst. Finally got treatment. Is it better, some days yes some days no, it kinda runs a cycle. Bad days are a struggle just to stay alive, Good days are defined by, lol, my medications working. It was easier to deal with when I knew I would die by age 60 but my therapist says thats just a symptom, I don't know it seemed like a goal to me.

Well I may as well ask here. First, am I crazy or did the title of this thread change to its extreme opposite in the last 24 hrs?

Second, though I know that many things said to PTSD sufferers are simple, innocent statements not to be so extremely negatively perceived, absorbed, personalized and distorted. I also know that some times some people will comment something out of ignorance and thoughtlessness.

In fact, I've also been so fortunate as to be forced, in previous yrs., to be acquainted with some people that when they came to know of my traumas, hurts, weaknesses and distress, they deliberately antagonized me to varying degrees in their sick ideas of fun. Other times people have deliberately set-out to control or manipulate me with words because they knew just how to do so for their miserable personal gain.

Triggered, triggered and triggered .................... not thinking straight any longer, not thinking in the present, full of fear.

If this makes little to no sense at all regarding this topic, just delete the damn' thing. It wouldn't be my first post lost to this thread. I tried two other times, got interrupted, had to attend to business, and then upon returning to it, had lost it.

Your right goingonhope the title has changed! It started as what not to say...