This is my first time writing about this to anyone but about two years back, my best friend whom I was extremely close with and loved dearly raped me. Because of the situation and because I cared for this person I never turned him in. And after this occurred I put him out of my life, only to see him on rare occasions and though it was quite a confusing time I thought that maybe I had over come it but I am now doubting that greatly.

As the months passed I went through several periods of depression and thought of suicide. I went to counseling and told them of everything except of that incident. I was officially diagnosed with a chemical imbalance in my head inducing depression and was prescribed medication.

But I still went through depressive episodes even on the pills and about a year ago, I became even more sad all the time and overly emotional. I began to stress over everything and anything and had serious trouble sleeping, which I was then later prescribed sleeping pills for.

But here is where I am seeking help. Lately this person has actually been trying to talk to me, and with it flashbacks of the incident, memories or pieces I had forgotten about until recently have started coming back. With this has come those panic and anxiety attacks, difficulty sleeping and eating, and just trouble communicating with the world. I have become really paranoid and distrust worthy of people lately in part due to this.

Along with this happening, several other incidents have sprung up in my life causing stress. I have finally become financially independent, I have high college bills, my grandmother is terminally ill, and I have a tremendous course load, etc. And with this, I just am getting so overwhelmed.

The littlest things are upsetting me just as much as the big things and everyone around me has told me how distant and upset I seem all the time, and due to the stress and previous trauma in my life, it is possible that my prior diagnosis was incorrect or that I have some new disorder because this anxiety and stress is now become 24/7 and as the daughter of a former doctor I have looked into my symptoms and I believe I have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

But if so it has not been properly diagnosed, part in fact to my reluctance to talk to somebody and part because at the moment I am out of health insurance and do not have the financial means I once had to seek help.

But overall, as fellow professionals and as other individuals who have this disorder, what do you think and if so what should I do to help myself and get my life back on track. I feel like all I do is just bring everyone down around me and I am stuck in the past on memories I wish I never had to see again. I just want to know what I can do to get better.

- Locke47

Don't try and diagnose yourself. I am a third year medical student and even with suspicions I still went to a doctor. You really should see someone in person to get a real diagnosis because if you treat the wrong things you can possibly make yourself worse. There are certain medications that work better for PTSD for example and they may not be the same ones that work best for major depressive disorder, or other anxiety disorders which are different. To be most safe, get checked out by a professional in person. I'm sure that's what others here will tell you as well.

While we can't help with diagnoses, what we can do here is support you and encourage you, and hopefully through our experiences help you as you make some important decisions and changes.

While it sounds like it it very possible you have PTSD, you NEED to get diagnosed by a professional. To do this, however, does not necesarily mean you have to go back and tell the details of the trauma. (That may take some time to do, once you have a good relationship with a trusted therapist.) To get a diagnosis, you will be asked a bunch of questions that have to do with your symptoms. (E.g. nightmares, flashbacks, etc.) You will probably have to discuss the trauma, but if you're just looking for a diagnosis, and aren't ready for treatment quite yet, you shouldn't have to go into detail...(or at least I didn't have to). Once you are diagnosed and want to get treated, you will then have to learn how to go back through the trauma and get everything out into the open.

Good luck.