Hey guys,

Do any of you spouses ever have to deal with your PTSD spouse self medicating, with alcohol, pain meds. or otherwise? If so, how do you deal with that? When you see them going for that third or fourth glass of wine, and you know how its going to react with the meds they are already on (sloppy drunk), what do you say? How do you handle it when others are around?

Hi Superd
I know what you mean I dont know if my husband realises how many tablets he takes a day especially painkillers he is forever popping pills. He only drinks a couple of nights a week thank God.
I wrote down on a piece of paper the other night for my curiosity the tablets he has in his cupboard he has nine different types of medication. I wonder when the body will say enough is enough!
Jen

Hi Superd,
I have been reading your posts and it seems as if you do not know what to do anymore...i hear ya....yet you are trying so hard i see...it seems you are doing anything you can to help your situation and have things under better control but its not happening. Remember, you can be there for your spouse, but you cannot solve her problems....she has to do that on her own...thats what i learned. Is there decent communication between you two? is there any kind of understanding? Im sure people with PTSD do what your spouse is doing (lucky for me, i dont have that problem...for now at least) not sure if they are unable to control it (do things without thinking about the consequence) but i guess i would ask my spouse not to drink so much...specially with the meds...i just dont like the idea...for example, last night we went to dinner and he had a few beers but i was watching him the whole time to make sure he didnt over do it..which he did not so everything was ok... if i would have seen him drink more and more..i would have asked him to please stop. yes, sometimes i feel like i have to babysit him but i dont mind because i know he is going through alot and he does not always notice the things he does....should get better with time but for now thats how it is...

Jen,
9 different meds?!! what the heck for??? that would actually scare me...my husband only has 2-3...which im ok with...but does it get worse? will he need more meds with time???? i dont get it!

Coming from the one who was on the self medicating side and made it out alive... Don't even try to go there while intoxicated. It will be a losing battle and no body wants to fight with a drunk person who can swing into rage at the drop of a hat.

Go for a moment during a "good day" and while sober. Explain it scares you because you love them, and they are risking their life and you don't want to face life without them. Also, go to the doc with them and make sure doc is fully aware! You are not so quick wanting to let doc know what you are doing, but doc being aware can help incorporate this issue in counseling and give you tips. It is a very self destructive course to be on. When you speak to your loved one keep in mind you will need to choose your words carefully and in no form or fashion say anything that could be perceived as a put down, they are already down enough.

The first talk won't work and several more may not. But if you say it in a loving caring manner eventually it sinks in. If you go in with a controlling attitude and one that you are telling the person what to do and what they cannot do you will help put a barrier up that may lead to more consumption to block the pain of even more worthlessness. Also, if you drink stop too. If they are the only ones doing it it sticks out a little more.

A glass of wine or a single beer will ruin all of it. Once you have started the path of self medicating you are no longer in control and have to realize you are in the same boat as any alcoholic and no one around them needs to be consuming to help. When they acknowledge it and are ready to make the shift in gears great, but remember not even one beer. It has to be something never touched again. Hope it helps. And no, I have no idea how my husband did not kill me during my phase of that, but could not have done it without his support.

Ummm.... wait til kerrie gets her hands on this thread... she will have no problems enlightening you to my self medicating days, and the shit I put her through. They are already on the board, but I think she does get sick pleasure bringing them up all the time... he he he he he he he he he he

All I have to say to this comment is, yep PTSD add alcohol (particularly home brewed rum) = 100% obnoxious asshole.

Superd,

This is one of my pet hates. You have PTSD, you know there is something wrong, you get depressed and then you add alcohol.........its a depressant!!! I don't call it self-medicating, I call it self abuse and I have no tolerance for it. I ended up refusing to go to social activities with Anthony if I knew he was going to drink excessively. Its only now that he has helped himself (he has mostly stopped drinking, drinks very occasionally socially and we rarely keep alcohol in the house) that I don't get anxious when he drinks. Your wife must be educated on this because it will not help your situation at all.

Jen,

Does anyone, aside from you know that your husband is taking NINE different meds? That just can't be good for the liver or anything else. It will undoubtedly be contributing to his depression/apathy. He needs a boot in the ass. Can you speak to his doctor/psych about this? AND he adds alcohol!!

Hi Kerri Anne he doesnt take all the meds together not that I can see anyway.
My main worry is he has been on Panadeine Forte for pain at least 5 years these are the ones he seems to take mostly. He had an ultrasound recently and liver and kidney were ok I dont know how! I mentioned to the Doc that I was concerned about this and he said I would be surprised how resilient the body can be and just keeps dishing out scripts.
Jen

Jen,

I don't care what the ultrasound said, it can't be good for you. Anyhow, as for his GP have you thought about changing his GP? I know this can greatly increase his anxiety but all giving your husband lots of meds is doing is enabling him to wallow in his PTSD. If I remember correctly you are in Townsville, Dr Ian Fraser is a good GP with a great understanding of PTSD. He is on Bamford Lane in Kirwan. Even if you make an appt yourself and just go and talk to him without your husband. The good thing is he doesn't take any bs from those with PTSD and calls it how he sees it.

The body is resilient, no doubt but it can only take so much. I watched my step-father and his gradual decline into alcoholism. From all of that toxin he has limited long and short term memory (essentially brain damage), cirroshis of the liver and has to use a cane to walk. Whichever way you look at it, it is poison. Sure he may need some of those meds but not all nine.

Sorry, I know that you have enough on your plate but it will only get worse if his body shuts down from this abuse. You probably also feel like your continuing to baby him but thats kind of how I had to do just to get Anthony past the first few hurdles. I stand by my boot up the ass, he needs it! If you can't talk to him what about one of his mates or one your children? Big hugs to you.

Hi Kerri Anne
Dr Fraser is my husbands doctor he was the one who I spoke to
I am hoping he goes and sees Martha at the clinic tomorrow I reminded him tonight he didnt seem that impressed I will nag him about it. I wonder if I email Martha about the tablets she might talk to him about it. I dont know about patient confidential but it shouldnt hurt.
Jen

Jen,

I am surprised that Doc Fraser would let him take 9 different kinds of meds.....as for contacting Martha, that would be next thing. She will not be able to tell you the outcome of any meeting between her and your husband but by the same token she can't treat properly if she doesn't know the full story. Tough I say if he gets annoyed at you 'nagging' him. You could point out that the only reason you want him to get help is because you care. They are so frustrating :angry-fla