I'm pretty good when it comes to not comparing my trauma to others. I know that ANY trauma can cause PTSD no matter how "mild" it seems to those who weren't in it. I know that what may traumatize one, may not traumatize another.

Something that I DO compare myself on is "recovering" from the trauma. It's been almost 10 years since the abuse ended and it's still ruining my life. I'm not social (or if I am, it's forced), I hate intimacy, I have horrible phobias of things that I know aren't dangerous (anymore), I have flashbacks, the list goes on.

These thoughts came up today while in line at the grocery store and reading the cover of a magazine. The person on the cover was kidnapped and recovered a period of time later. They don't seem to have any phobias surrounding their trauma and is no longer sorry it happened, it's just part of who they are. I didn't read the whole thing but it just made me think about how long I've been safe and how messed up I still am.

Why can't I "get over" it?

I don't know why I'm writing this. I just needed to get it out to people who might understand.

I have those same thoughts from time to time...I get frustrated that I'm not farther along in the recovery process than I am...not sure if that makes sense...I'v ebeen asked what's holding me back...I guess the obvious answer is fear...but I don't know if that's th eonly thing...The thing is, this is not the way to think about it...everyone has their own pace... Sometimes various other things interfere with the process...ie suddenly having to find a new therapist etc. etc. The best I can offer at this point is...try not to get too frustrated (easeir said than done) and tak eit one step at a time...Just by being here and posting, you're taking some steps, small as they may be. I don't know if this makes any sense.

I think "getting over it" would be like saying "why won't my diabetes go away" It's an illness. Some have to be treated with medication and others don't.

Try not to be hard on yourself. I understand what your saying because I get angry about it too, and think to myself "when will this madness end" But, it's a rhetorical question just to vent my frustrations.

I hope you feel better soon
Tammy

Let's put this into context somewhat for you. At the time the article is printed, they are "recovered." However that doesn't meant that PTSD won't bite them in the ass later or that it might not. We simply don't have enough information to even make a statement off that.

Some people get PTSD and some don't. Some "recover" quickly and some take years. What makes one person have red hair and another blonde? What makes one person like coffee and another despise it? We are human, we have both similarities and differences. I think the key here is realizing that what you are comparing just can not be compared.

Your brain is trying to get over it. That is what has caused this disorder in the first place. It just needs some help to get there. So cut yourself some slack and list out all of the positive accomplishments you have done so far. Because that is what really counts. What you have done.

bec

Thanks for the responses. I *know* recovery is just as individualized as the trauma and therefore can't be compared. It's just been so long and I'm so tired of having triggers, nightmares, flashbacks, etc. I don't even know what it's like to not have them. I've had triggers for as long as I can remember, even if I hadn't been diagnosed yet. It's just getting old.

I saw Eliz Smart on the magazine cover too, and part of me wanted to buy it and read about her trauma. But then, the supermarket media tabloids are not necessarily going to tell the public exactly what Elizabeth said about her experience. They want to sell magazines, not tell the real truth. The whole kidnapping thing was surreal, and so I don't think that she will ever be 'over it' any more than any other person so young and vulnerable would be able to go through brainwashing and recover. A whole lot depends on what your definition of 'recover' is.

If she writes a book and the book is not edited to boost sensationalism, it may not sell. Does the public want to hear that she has PTSD and how, in detail, she is suffering from fear of strangers, religious fanaticism, and who knows what other triggers? These are the same mags that claim every other week that Angelina and Brad are breaking up. Wait a few months, and they will say that Brad stole the new babies and ran away to Zimbabwe with his ex-girlfriend or some shit like that. And he was transported to Zimbabwe by aliens in a silver flying saucer. Too bad the saucer pilot doesn't speak French or English, or the tabloids could interview him for the cover in September.

Don't believe what those magazines say to sell mags. If you buy them, check your common sense at the door, and read them for entertainment only, not for the facts.

I didn't buy it but I skimmed parts of it. Some of her "quotes" were just about how she's so happy and not hiding somewhere scared, that's she's living. That's she's no longer upset it happened to her as it's part of who she is, etc.

I just wish I could pretend to be okay but even that doesn't work as I don't know what being "okay" is like. I don't know. Just wishing I could "get over" it all already.