Just a vent . . . I hate feeling paralyzed like I have for the last few days. It seems to accompany the flashbacks and I guess I thought I was more over this last one than I was. I've had a really rough time since Saturday with some worse-than-usual nightmares going along with this.

I've got this list of things I want to do, mainly replacing a couple of mini blinds with curtains. My goal has been to do this in order to make our house a softer, more comfortable place - and another way of taking control of our space (since I'm the one who does the "decorating," such as it is). The mini blinds can go in hubby's office, so at least they won't end up adding to some landfill.

I don't want to go anywhere, see anyone, talk to anyone in real life (besides hubby). I'm sooo glad I don't have anywhere I have to be in the next few days and no appointments till I see the psych for SSD next week, which I'm now thinking will be easy compared to these last few days

I don't know whether to push myself harder, let myself be, or something in between. Not really looking for advice. Just tired of feeling so tired and unmotivated -- and restless! Ish.

Forgot to add. . . I'm trying to make an effort. . . I put on makeup today, dealt with the recyclables, wrote a couple letters I hadn't gotten to. But I just end up back here at the computer. I don't even want to do my jigsaw puzzle. Blah.

Hodge,

I'm of the mind that it's okay to feel like this some days. I don't think it's a requirement that we push ourselves every single day. Our bodies tell us when it needs to slow down or handle things differently.

You've accomplished some things that needed to be done, so I say don't worry. I know you've been through some serious stress/triggers lately and it's only natural that your body wants to shut down for a bit.

Do what makes you feel better, feel safe. I think you're handling it with a balanced hand, so don't be too hard on yourself about it. And rant away!

Best,
Rachel

I have days like that, too, Hodge. If I really need to get something done, I try to follow the Flylady habit of working 15 minutes at a time.

If you don't know about Flylady, it's followed by a .net.
(I don't want to get in trouble for posting a link.)

Thanks so much, guys!

Well, what do you know? After venting on this thread, I managed to throw my butt up off the chair, mocked up a curtain design for the dining room, and cleaned the mini blinds to go in hubby's office. I guess maybe it helped just to write it out here.

Oh, that's funny, too, what you said about the 15-minute thing, Moonshadow, because that's about how long I can stay on task with anything :)

I'm almost feeling like I can even go out pretty soon and pick up some milk, since we'll run out before tomorrow when everything's closed. Not the supermarket, but I think I can at least hit the convenience store.

Anyway, now it's rest time. if I get nothing else done today, I'll still feel better for having made some progress on my goals.

The day(s) following a lot of stress is basically 'slug' day(s) for me. Sometimes my recovery from symptoms takes the whole weekend.

On those days if I get a load of laundry washed I consider it quite an accomplishment. I stay in my PJs and let my body and mind rest. Stress does so much to our bodies and minds (and cause so much fatiuge) that when things rough we need to rest.

Rest from what you've been through recently. There's nothing wrong with it. Remind yourself that we just get tired that much sooner than we used to. And congrats that you got some of your stuff done.

BTW-15 minutes of work then a break. Wow, I was following advice and didn't even know it. Sometimes it's less than five minutes and I have to change tasks for a few minutes. Thanks for posting that, moonshadow.

Lisa

Thanks, Lisa. I'm glad you instinctively follow the 15- or 5-minute thing. That's really helps me to not pressure myself so much and I do end up getting more done that way, when I can otherwise.

After more rest yesterday, I later did get out to get some milk and even mounted the three shades I've been meaning to do. After all these days of being a slug, it felt really satisfying to be doing stuff around the house! And hubby complimented me on what a great job I'm doing around here.

But...slug-like, more-than-usual fatigue, yup. I have that, where, like you Lisa, getting a load of laundry done -- if that -- is about it. I've been getting hugely exhausted by dinnertime, too much so to even make dinner. Hubby says he's quite content with tuna sandwiches and take-out pizza when I'm like this . . . what a sport!

Those days come and thank God they go, I liken it to surfin', I go up the wave of paranoia and need to siolate and then eventually down I come. In our house we call it the "crazys".

Sometimes we need to push and others not so much. I would say that if the period of time like that is not having a big impact on your life, so be it, don't push let it pass. If it is putting a big cramp in your lifestyle I would push it as far as you can. I sometimes feel guilty for isolating liek that to feel safe .....but in the end if it does me good, what is the harm.

Just trying to unsubscribe. I experimented with this feature and seem to be stuck now in a quagmire which I am now trying to get out of :)