Question How Best To Help A Loved One With PTSD/Depression?

Langdon · #1 06-07-2008, 01:24 PM

Hi all, have taken a break recently, but here I am again with a new question.

My question is this: As a carer, what types of creative things do you do that help encourage a PTSD sufferer who is dealing with depression?

A very important person in my life suffers from PTSD and has had reoccuring depression at varying levels. Dr. continues to try different anti-depressant meds with limited success.

The last time this happened, our relationship was relatively new, and I was shut out for several weeks. Since then he has opened up about what has been going through. Every so often, though, he hits a low point and in the midst of his depression he apologizes and tells me "you can do better than me"

I've done my best to be encouraging and supportive, but just wondering what works for other folks in the same boat.

Nicolette · #2 06-07-2008, 07:15 PM

Hi Langdon

I have read your post and wanted to let you know I can't think of anything right this minute as I have to go.....but I will post if I think of something.

She Cat · #3 07-07-2008, 02:18 AM

HI Langdon,

I am a sufferer and can relate to the depression side of things. It's one of my worst symptoms, and one that I have yet to get a handle on. For me...(This may not work for your friend) TIME!!!! Give him the time that he needs and try not to push. Let him know that you care. It's fine line I now but it can be done. When I am that bad I want to isolate, I tend to push people away, and get pissed when they try to push through.

What I need is time, a phone call every few days just to say, Hi and if I want to talk, that they are there to listen. A call to ask if I would like to go out, even if the person KNOWS that I won't, but at least they asked with no expectations. Someone to say that they love me, care and if I want they are there.

I guess just to be supportive, let him know that you care, are concerned, you understand, and will be there when he needs you.

Langdon · #4 07-07-2008, 06:16 AM

Thanks She Cat,

Good advice.

I'm definitely learning to be patient, and I think it surprises him in a good way that I have shown patience. I suppose that is a way to show you care without having to say it.

He's opening up more about how the depression affects him, so that gives me a better cluse as to what to say/do.

I think the occasional phone (with no expectations) idea is a good one.

nlk · #5 07-07-2008, 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Langdon

Every so often, though, he hits a low point and in the midst of his depression he apologizes and tells me "you can do better than me"

When he tells you that you can do better than him you need to remind him why you have stuck things through with him. Remind him of his good qualities that first brought you two together & why you are still there.

My friend also tells me this many times-that I can find a better friend than her since she is so needy and doesn't help me the way I help her.

Self esteem is a big part of PTSD, I have discovered.

nlk

xxarmywifexx · #6 10-07-2008, 09:52 AM

I'm simply in the same boat...no advice but thanks for posting the question and thanks to those that posted a few suggestions ><

xxarmywifexx

blue_eyed_angel · #7 19-07-2008, 02:42 AM

*I feel the same way Langdon.

*And to NLK:
My current boyfriend sometimes tells me that I can do better than him. And I just like you said simply remind him of why I love him and why I am with him.

Very good advice from all..

Langdon · #8 20-07-2008, 01:45 AM

Having re-connected after a time apart, I have now learned that some of the simplest things mean the most. Getting him out of the house, a funny text, talking about what we did on a given day, recollecting about good times we have had in the past all seem to help. Have offered to help with things that need to be done around the house (we're in separate locations) but not being pushy about it. Will see how that last one goes.

Funny how posting a question here can make you think more about the answer you were looking for in the first place.

Maybe I should have titled my original post "How do you express caring without saying it" What I have come to realize that in 100 different everyday tasks and interactions, one can show to a sufferer that you care more than words can ever adequately express.

She Cat · #9 20-07-2008, 11:17 AM

Langdon,

I am glad that you and your friend are getting along, and that you have found a way to help him...I must say though, that it might not work with a woman, as we tend to need a little more of the words, than the deed.

There are a zillion ways to let someone know that you care, and sometimes it can be the simplest of things that says it the best....

You are a good friend for NOT giving up!!!!!!