I know exactly what your saying happydaze. I think we will not so much struggle with other people, but we will always struggle in regard to opening up to others who don't truly understand PTSD. Someone asked me once when I wasn't so well to explain it, and all I could say, is that I couldn't, because they would never understand. I did say, if you think of cancer, you can explain what it is, where it is, and the known factors that go with cancer, but PTSD... where does one start! Its not something you can tell someone who is interested, over a cup of coffee, not if they want to know detail, because it would take a person months of constand query and time to process the thought, to return each answer.

I seen a light, and shot towards it. After being with others who have PTSD, I showed them, some shot towards it... so he we are, now showing the light to even more... who now have to make a choice, get better or believe you can just live with it the way it is. I like your analogy, "Love, tolerance and acceptance", well said.

Hi guys

Anthony/happydaze I can relate to your problems with alcohol, I'm struggling with it myself and have been for some years. If I could just limit myself to one or two drinks it might be OK but I simply can't. Once I start I can't stop. Even if I can limit myself I find it does me no good, even a small amount can make me very depressed. Large amounts often make me suicidal. I've admitted to myself and other people that I have a problem but it's so hard to stop. I need to stop as I have pain coming from my liver area after drinking, surely not a good sign. I have got into the habit of coming home from work and opening a beer, a habit that's very hard to break. For me the only good amount of alcohol is no alcohol.

Cannabis on the other hand, I find a small amount can be helpful. As someone else mentioned, small amounts can help me to concentrate on one thing. Too much is a bad thing, it leaves me paranoid and feeling isolated.

Y&A, I am fighting the same battle you are right now. I have been smoking since I was 12 and it has always been the only thing that made me feel "normal". The big problem is that if I ever get busted, I could loose my whole carreer. So, I have been trying to work a 12 step program, but have had little faith in those programs. I want to be clean, but I also don't like to feel crazy all the time, so I still smoke.
I have a good friend who I work with and is a recovering addict and he is very encouraging. He always knows if I've been trying to get clean, and fail. It helps to have someone you are held accountable to.
I still want to get high, though.:smoking: :naughty:

I want to add that I am dealing with the dependancy on pot. I really want to deal with things on my own, but after so many years of not doing so, it's hard to see that you can. I have gotten my habit under control to the point where I only smoke in the evenings as opposed to as much as possible, but I am still working.
I know it's not an easy battle, but I am trying. I wish anyone who is also fighting that battle lots of luck, and any support I can lend, I will be glad to.
God bless you all!

I cut. It's my little addiction, and trust me when I say it is as hard to give up as drinking or smoking.
I found that if I cut it pushes the memories away. It also feels so good. I don't expect anyone to understand what would bring me to press a rasor to my flesh deep enough to bleed, but I'll try.

When I cut, the pain is a pure rush. It hurts, depending on where I cut it can (pardon the pun) kill. It feels better then sex, better then anything I have ever tried. It makes everything clear again. Of course, I then have to come down from my rush.
I can get to a week or two with out cutting, but if I cave the damage I do is bad.

I'm at the week mark now, and the need to cut is bad. I have a contract written up and the fact that I gave my word is the only thing stopping me at the moment. :runs screaming:

I'm sitting at the computer shaking, I have feeling like cutting is controlling me. Of course the shakes could be from the fact I haven't eaten all day.