Hello,
Thank Goodness I found this site. I was starting to think that I was the only problem in our marriage...My husband a former Marine, was diagnosed w/ PTSD in 2004 soon after he came home from Iraq. I guess maybe I was deniel about my husbands condition or didn't try hard enough to educate myself about PTSD...when he would tell me he would seek treatment himself and fix it himself and did not want me to come to his counseling...Thats what i did... I guess I just have always done what he has told me to do. Now 2 years later, w/ a 1 year old baby. We are suffering the consiquences of not finding help for "BOTH of US" sooner. He hasn't had any treatment or seen anybody for his PTSD for over a year now. He is 70% disabled and I have'nt seen him happy for a really long time. Its hard for me to bring this subject up to him. I am scheduled to see a counseler tomorrow...but I am skeptical on how well these people can help us..I am so glad to know that this forum is here and I find myself relating to a lot of situations I read about here so thanks.

Hi Sarah

This is a great site for info and sapport. There is a forum here for spouses and family that might be right up your alley. Your hubby sounds just like me trying to fix it by myself (still have'nt got totally over that) but it does'nt work to well that way. There are people and Pros who realy can help.

Welcome Sarah!!

I suffer with PTSD also, I have tried to do all by myself. But have failed at that so it is good you are getting involved to help your husband out. My wife is getting involved with my therapist so she can understand more about me. Sounds like you want to do all you can to keep your man. That is great because when I have been stubborn my wife and I almost got a divorce over it. Keep reading the post here they have helped me through some tough times, because I could relate to the stress everyone was under. Sorry about rambling on but welcome and keep learning about PTSD.

Welcome Sarah,

What a great move you have made seeking help for yourself. Well done. Not all counsellors are equal, I will say that. I would recommend you attend your appointment, and you have to feel out for yourself whether the counsellor has scope with yourself to develop into a trusting relationship, but also the counsellor really does know what they are doing to help you for your situation. Not all counsellors are created equal, and they do generally have their specific areas of expertise, though often believe they are good at everything. If you come across one of those, run... otherwise, jump in feet first and see how you go.

Counselling is essential, because you must have that face to face interaction in your discussions, because it provides more human responses and you get a better feedback personally.

There is no shortage of spouses here now, all of which can certainly help you achieve your end aim...

Hi Sarah!
My husband is a former Marine also who was diagnosed with PTSD just recently because it took so much pushing to get him to go to a doctor. He knew something was not right, but it got to the point where i had to tell him that either he needed to get me a doctors note saying he actually did have a disorder...or i was simply not going to believe him anymore. It was tough love but i got through to him i feel...So he went to the VA and his PTSD has gotten worse even since. I know how hard things can be (more for you that you have a child) but i am here if you even need someone to undertsand where you are coming from... whether you need to vent or just have girl talk i am here.
~Andrea

Wow.... Thank You Everyone for your support it means so much to me...I did talk to a therapist today and she is going to refer me to someone that can help w/ my particular situation and has some experience w/ our type of issues....Phew! It really does make me feel so much better to get some of my frustration out and cry to a therapist...they told me that I should be patient and they will get my husband involved in some sessions with me and him together and then at that point refer him to get some help for himself after talking little by little. I'm expecting the worst before this gets better but I guess its a start.

Sarah,

That's such a positive step. You are right to expect it to get worse before it gets better but that is the nature of the beast. Your great attitude to seeking help is what will help you through the tough times. Take care of you and remember, we are only a couple of keystrokes away.

Hi Sarah,

My husband and I both have PTSD, his from his time in Iraq. I think its great your getting help. Psychologist really help you to feel normal again. Hopefully you getting help will make your husband want to. Its hard to admit you have a problem, but I feel that if he gets help he will get better. I know how you feel when you say hes never happy. My husband use to be totally crazy always making me laugh. Now he just kind of mopes around. We are all here to offer our friendship to you. It is nice to be with people who understand. Welcome to the forum.

I am sorry about your husband, I am a former marine too. I can't imagine what the pain for him is, but tell him he is NOT alone. A marine is never alone, he has many "brothers and sisters" who care about him. I have a thirteen month old daughter right now with my wife, and were doing pretty good right now. Reading letters from Marine wives made me thank my wife tonight for being so wonderful and caring, and for having me be her soul mate. Get your husband on here, I think he'll find this is a good place.

Semper Fi, and peace on earth....

-Zach-

Hi Sarah, About Marriage counseling: my wife (PTSD) and I (Carer) had marriage counseling. And we were helped to a certain extend. But right now I feel like it's not a marriage problem, or a communication problem anymore. She has to find help for herself, and I have to sort out my stuff in relation to her PTSD. Alot has to do with her identity, who she is, which got devastated by the trauma and the aftermath. She was diagnosed with a chronic PTSD. So, once that is worked through, or re-established to a certain stable extend, I think we will be back in marriage counseling again, trying to understand and accept each other in our experiences, feelings and thoughts.
So saying all of that, marriage and individual counseling could go hand in hand.