I'm not sure what to do or if there is anything I can do...my husband and I are now at a point where he wants to get a divorce...because his mother called me and I confided in her that me and my husband are on rocky terms for now. According to him we are not suppose to talk to his parents or let them in on any part of our lives, I wasn't supposed to but I did...and then days later she left him a voicemail saying not to break his family apart.

UGHHH I am so mad...now he's saying we don't have any trust in our relationship...but when he confronted me about speaking to her I did say I talked to her but briefly and that she called me at work! which was true, and I sort of downplayed it when I should'nt have...but according to him I should have had the will power to say< I don't wanna talk to you!>
Now I am rambling...crap...now what am I going to do? I was scared about how he would react to tell him right after the conversation w/ his mom...we uste to be really close w/ his parents and now I am to blame...

but, something tells me in the back of my head that he was just fishing for something to break us apart...I told him that this is just the easy way out for him...and he tells me not to say that because how can he work something out w/ someone he doesn't trust now?

Now he would wonder what other things I would do to betray him...and that he never should have wasted all this time w/ me, had a baby w/ me, etc. etc. I told him I was sorry...but it doesn't matter to him anymore...

I'm almost ready to give up, sell our house and live w/ my mother(who doesn't know anything about whats going on). Could he possibly be so scared to get help, that he is amplifing this to be a bigger deal then it really is?He says he didn't fight and survive a war just so it can later be used against him...he says I don't understand that...and that when any little thing goes wrong I want to pull out the PTSD card on him...this is the first time I've ever brought it up! ..

it is not true though I just want to learn how to live w/ it..I am soooo upset and in tears...I Love my husband but he just keeps pushing me further and further away.:frown:

Sarah,
What you were doing by talking to his mother was not vindictive or you were not trying to be deceitful. You were trying to grab on to a life preserver, that is all. You are trying to save him, yourself, your marriage, your child, I know. He will not see it like that right now. It's like grabbing a rope that is greased.

I know you love your husband. That may be all you know right now. I know you hurt. We are here for you. My thoughts are with you.

Thank You Desert,
Your support means so much...I am hurting...

Sarah,
I can't take the hurt away but I can tell you that you are not alone my friend. You are not alone.

That is the most frustrating thing and I feel for you so much. I can handle anything but my family falling apart. And it makes it 100 times worse after you have a baby. When you're all by yourself its easier to shrug off the emotions and start over. But when there is a child involved it is the scariest thing. My husband goes off and does crazy things every once in a while and I will confide in my family and friends, Usually my brother tells me that he will get over it and usually he does, but thats my husband I dont know yours. The only advice I can give is for you to know that no matter what he decides to do, its not your fault. Him saying and doing hurtful things has nothing to do with you. For you to be secure and happy with yourself is the most important thing. I have told David before, "you can be angry all you want but your not ruining my day over it". Sometimes, even with me, it allows the person to see how silly and selfish they are acting. It also makes them want even more to just be happy and content again. If I were you I wouldnt push so much anymore. I would just live my life and take care of my child and stop walking on egg shells. If he wants to be miserable then thats the choice he made. But despite his actions, you make the choice to be happy. Thats is obviously easier said than done, but it makes a person more aproachable and less threatening. You changing your outlook might eventually even calm him and make him want to be around you more. The point is for you to realize that no matter what , you are going to be okay.

Hi Sarah.
I am so sorry for what has happened.. I am so sad. A few days ago you said things were ok :( and i was happy for you guys.....
To be honest i am afriad my husband will get to the point where he wants nothing to do with me anymore....i hate the fact that i feel as if i am actually waiting for it to happen :( Its so scary. Also, we no longer have all the trust we should have for each other...what does all this mean??? I have been so depressed as well this week. I am so sorry for what is happening. You did nothing wrong, you care and love him and want to help him.
I refuse to believe this myself but i think someone in the forum said "you cant make anybody stay with you" he has a wonderful wife who is going through so much (just like he is) you have a child together and he is willing to throw all that away because you spoke to his mother??? I dont know...he needs to clear his mind and think about what he is doing.... although i do not have kids, i sometimes feel as if my husband does not need me at all and he would prefer to do this on his own. It breaks my heart to think that because i want to be with him and have a fam with him but i dont know whats going to happen. I hope once he has the time to calm down, lets it sink in...i hope you realizes that you dont do things to hurt him but you do them because you care.... Im sorry sarah...hang on, be strong...you are the stronger one right now...dont let go. I am here for you.

Cdunny and Andrea - thank you...I am too upset right now and don't know what to do...How will I know that I will be okay? Thank You so much for being there for me...I have been strong for so long I am just starting to wear down...

Sarah, I hope you are ok... I am having a bad day again myself :( Just wanted to see how you are doing

Hi Andrea,
I'm doing a little better today...I just need to focus on me and my son, I guess if he wants to go through w/ a divorce then lets do it..if thats the only dumb solution he can come up with...maybe its best that way...I think I just don't want to try anymore if he doesn't..like cdunny said its like grabbing on to a greased rope...its not going to help any of us...we might as well be miserable for the rest of our lives...he doesn't want to help himself, he is in denial..he thinks that I hurt him...he thinks I don't understand how hard he works to give us a comfortable living(i work full time too*Jerkoff*)...I guess its all just bs...thats what my mom told me hehehe.....I just need to pick my ass up off the floor and focus on how I am going to do this by myself...maybe he will come around and actually consider going into therapy..when "we" are not around as much anymore...I know I've already started...I'm done...I love him but I'm done...thanks for asking PHEW* Venting feels so good!

Sarah, I totally agree with your initial thoughts, in that he is just fishing for an easy way out, he just can't accept it thats all. Such a trivial matter in the overall scheme of life is not an excuse to end a relationship. Slap him around the head and tell him to wakeup to himself to be quite honest.