Hi to all....

This is my first post to this sit and I need some help please in understanding PTSD. Approx. 15yrs ago I was diagnosed with PTSD related to accumulated on duty incidents (I'm a police officer). Rec'd psychological support & treatment over a few years and life became "manageable" but never returned to "normal".

About 6yrs ago two of my children became critically ill from a municipal water supply that was contaminated with E.coli 0157. Both were in hospital at the same time fighting for their lives. This went on for a couple of weeks until their condition stabilized. Both have suffered serious consequences from their illness including brain damage, epilepsy, kidney disease, cardiac damage etc etc.

I was diagnosed about two years after this with PTSD (again) and I'm currently undergoing treatment.

Question: After having PTSD once is one "predisposed" to getting again, or is it the "original" PTSD coming back, or can you get it more than once in your life? Please help! This time seems worse than the last! I am struggling....this event is in my face "all of the time"....everytime I look at my children it's there, every doctors appointment with them its there, every time I turn on the damn water tap its there, my wife and I are very close to splitting up...things are a real mess.

Thanks for your help.

Hi OntCopper,

Welcome to the forum.

Really, there is no such thing as getting PTSD and losing it, because it isn't curable. Honestly, the physicians you where seeing just aren't that clever, or they had not spoken with one another or something, because once you have it, it never goes away. PTSD is not curable, hence you cannot actually be diagnosed multiple times with it, because anything after the first time is just a waste of time and obviously a physician just wants to feel good about themselves or something (diagnosis tally).

So yes, this is all because of your original diagnosis mate. You can readjust, you can learn to manage it, but as soon as something traumatic or significant comes around in your life, all your management techniques often fall over and PTSD rises above once again.

Basically, everything you have been taught previously, you need to reapply, because you are not currently doing that for the symptoms to be taking over completely again. You have to remember back to your original counselling, and the techniques you learnt to control and manage it the first time, then reapply them again, until next time.

Sorry to hear about your children also... I really don't like children being on the wrong end of things in life.

Hi OntCopper!

Nice to meet you. I hail from Ontario also and I am so sorry to hear about your children. The water taints in Ontario are close to all our hearts.

I was diagnosed 3 times with PTSD. All from the same thing. I just kept getting rediagnosed since no one was sharing information. With our privacy laws here it's no wonder!!

Anyways, welcome aboard!

bec

Thanks for clearing that up for me. After the original diagnosis the force removed me from frontline patrol and placed me into an administrative capacity greatly diminishing the chances of "triggers.

This time around I just dont know how i'm going to cope. The "other" time things were different, not as personal and the events themselves stopped at some point.

This time it's very personal and as I mentioned in my face all of the time. Triggers everywhere from everything and the "event" is still ongoing 6 years later and will probably never end - I am speaking with regard to the serious medical isues of my children.....it just goes on and on and on. In my face all of the time.....no escape from it.

I asked a psychologist friend about traumatic events that keep continuing without a "stop", he looked at me shook his head and said "you've got a tough road ahead".

I cant believe just how tough its been, first their hospitalization and the moment when the surgeon came out and said that he had one all he could and that the rest was between them and god...talk about a humbling moment. Then all of the doctor and specialist appointments...hundreds, then all of the lawyer appointments,,,,,,hundreds more

I am exhausted, drained of life. Nothing in my 27yrs as a cop could have prepared me for the heartbreak, the anguish, the frustration, the pure hell that we have endured the past 6 1/2 years.

I just dont know anymore. We get a break and get two steps forward then a doctors appointment or something will take us 4 steps back. It has been really hard this time round,,,,harder than it was before.

I'll be checkin in and piping off so I hope you folks dont mind.

He is right, you do. I am so sorry to hear of your children. That is just heart breaking. When you need to vent we will be around here for you. Relapsing is a hard road to be on! Take care of yourself for those little ones. Sometimes that is the only thing that can get you to the next day.

Ont....pipe off all you want! We're all here for you!

Hi ont. Welcome to the Forum. Glad to have you.

Hi there

I think you can get PTS from various sources, and once it has been present a similar repeated event could have a more dramatic impact than in a case where it had happened only once.

For instance after being mugged, being a situation where you are threatened again in a way which reminds you of that instance.

There is a difference though between stress/depresion/anxiety/other labels and PTSD. That is the nightmares and the flashbacks to those specific events. It also can leave a reduced tolerance for stress, however.

I think though that can be focused on too much. Who wouldn't have a strong reaction to their children going through what they have with the followup from the 'never ending' legal system. I wouldn't call that rebound PTSD, it is not related to the other events, and your reaction to them doesn't seem to be based around flashbacks in particular.

In the end the labels are not so relevant. It is about how you feel, how you are coping, and trying to reduce some of the pressures on you in one way or another, however small.

Thanks to all for the warm welcome and support.

I'm not having flashbacks to events that caused my original PTSD diagnosis...an on duty shooting topped it off but it was just the icing on the cake of a very dramatic career.

What I am having is multiple flashbacks nightmares etc related to their illnesses....considering I'm so very lucky that they are still alive I'm withdrawn from them and their activities as well as from my wife. I just want to be alone....I'm angry and fed up with everything. All in all everything just sucks (I'm venting thanks). All of our dreams our lifestyle our relationships with each other have all been but destroyed from this. I just can't seem to move on.

Therapy has just started. It's been so damn overwhelming. Like I mentioned before this is constant day after day after day. Nothing is getting time to heal. And in the case of my son who has the brain injury he is becoming very violent. This was anticipated due to the behaviours he's been showing over the past few years. There has been times where it has taken both my wife and I to hold him down to stop him from hurting himself or one of us.

To top it off tomorrow we have the beginning of a "discovery". This is an opportunity for the "lawyers" from the other side to question you on all aspects of "your case". Maybe this is why I'm feeling so rotten right now. I know they are going to drag me through this event from beginning to end....and in fact they (according to my lawyer) are of the opinion that I'm faking this....just to add insult to injury. I'm so damn afraid that I won't be able to keep it together tomorrow.

Anyways....I feel a little better after this...again thanks for the support and the opportunity to vent........

Goodluck with tomorrow Ont, and best wishes. Lawyers just suck when their at work.... just people and all, but their job sucks.